Have you ever seen a photo that just completely emulated what you felt like? It happens rarely for me, and usually it's a reaction from a nature shot (I like mountains, ok?). In any case, look at photo above, and you'll get a sense of how I'm feeling lately. I can't seem to put it into words, either....so I've been avoiding the journal where I have to articulate.

But now, I'm here. Again.

You know you're in trouble when the things you like do not bring you any joy. I'm wondering if I'm going head first into that hole again. I wonder if I care.

Left behind, forgotten, like an old pair of socks. I dreamed that I couldn't lock my door, and I knew there was something scary on the other side. Something that would hurt me. I don't have the cushion of mental illness to break my fall, I almost wish I did.

My landlord has called twice, leaving messages telling me that he has bought a new fridge for the apartment (about time too, since mine has bee broken for about 2 weeks) within the past day. I'm ignoring him for the moment, because I just don't care about a new fridge.

Dark woods approaching faster than I imagine and soon the time for decision will be upon me. Too bad for everyone else.

I don't know who took that particular picture but it can be found in Matthew Good's photo stream at Flickr.