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This is what it could look like when one completely deconstructs a life as one knows it, and how to build from the ground up. Alternatively, this is a fresh look at an old story. The fine art of falling apart.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009 |

me and sam

I should stop complaining, but it sucks that there isn't a lot to photograph around here. Just blank white space. Don't get me wrong, some parts of Nunavut are beautiful. There are a lot of places with mountains, and glaciers and huge expanses of aqua coloured water that tastes a little salty on your mouth. Great places. Unfortunately, Hall Beach (where I happen to be hanging my hat lately) is not one of those spots. We do have some things to take photos of, but I've exhausted those avenues. And it sucks.

So, today I filled in family members on my goings-on. Bailey, the blind Arctic wonder dog has been a god-send basically because he takes up space in my bed and reminds me when I wake up in the middle of the night that I'm not alone in the room. Especially since I wake up on average, 6 or 7 times a night, at 2 hour intervals. I don't know why, it's just the way things have been for the past year. It doesn't feel as though I've gotten a a good nights sleep in years. Then I cringe because it's just another complaint in the long list I've seemed to compiled.

A care package arrived from home. My parents are not regular mailers, so anything in the mail is awesome. So, I had to call and let mom know that it got here in one piece and humbly ask for another package to be mailed this week. I hope they do.

Wednesday tomorrow. The middle of the work week. Too bad I wasn't doing something other than pushing paper right now. Maybe next year.

Monday, February 16, 2009 |

Buckley, with corn he stole from one of the nephews.
Buckley and corn

I've been thinking about the dogs at home in Ontario. How they are getting along without me, Marble sleeping days away on his bed, Buckley bugging the cat thinking she's his good buddy. I wouldn't have survived the Arctic if it wasn't for Bailey, the adopted blind wonder dog, I wouldn't have lasted a year in this white wasteland.

Bailey and I have been lounging on the couch, me playing endless games of spider solitaire and back to back episodes of Rescue Me. And Bailey, napping beside me, upside down. Dogs sleeping upside down make me grin like an idiot.

I did some research and found out that Bailey can travel with me on Air Canada flights whenever I decide to head back down South for keeps. Just a suitcase full of dvds, books and Bailey in a flight carrier and I'll be on my way.

Just waiting for a fly by date.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009 |

adjust my night time eyes to see you swim as ancient swimmers did...
ok, I give. I'm in a bit of a funk. I can feel it getting worse as I jump from idea to idea. I think I'm ready to leave the Arctic, or my job, more specifically. I'm not feeling challenged enough and need more to keep my brain busy most days.

And I miss who I used to be, when I lived down south. Not to say that I would stick around there either after a few months, but I'm ready for another change. For some reason that I haven't figured out yet, I need to move around and start new things. Something new and exciting. Whatever.

Instead, I'm here. Stuck in the afternoon gloom, without a real end in sight. I don't do so well without structure and boundaries.
I'm just blah.

Violet's interview questions. Tuesday, February 03, 2009 |

ryan's feet

1. You are very much "musically attuned" - if you could only listen to one album for the rest of eternity, what would it be and why?

Excellent question. I don’t think I’m musically attuned, I think I just have too much time on my hands. Unfortunately, this is not a one albumed question (for me, at least). I would choose two albums. The first being Avalanche by Matthew Good and the second is Cold Roses by Ryan Adams. Subject to change without notice.

Matt’s debut solo album is amazing. There is so much to ‘dig’ into that you can’t really do it in one sitting. I mean, you can but you know what they say about gluttony. Plus, I find the overall sound and vibe of the album somewhat calming. Also, the album has my Number 1 favourite song ever, Weapon.

There are a few slow ones to get the mood going, and a ton of hard ones you can rock out to in your underwear in front of the television.

As for Ryan Adams’ record, his stuff is still fairly new to me (by about 2 years) so I don’t feel as though I have a really strong grasp on the whole deal. I love it, that’s for sure and the guy has enough material floating around that it was like a fun-for-all buffet when I first stumbled across him. Cold Roses seems to be a pretty diverse album in that it has a mixture of songs that I adore along with ones I haven’t paid much attention to. Thus, I’d probably have to listen to it about 200 more times before being confident in like/dislike of unheard material.

Plus, he’s funny looking and takes pictures of his shoes….how could I not like a guy like that?

2. As an artist, what do you most enjoy painting? What do you havelittle-to-no interest in painting?

As a painter, I only have interest in painting things that make me feel sick. If it doesn’t make me want to barf, then (in my head) the piece isn’t very good. I have no interest in painting happy, lovey dovey kind of works. It could be that my perspective is skewed but there it is.

3. Describe one of the very best things that's ever happened to you.

Being diagnosed bipolar. It's explained A LOT of shit. It's also made things easier to accept and has challenged me in trying harder to get things I want.

4. Cheese: Overrated, underrated, or something in between? And,related, which is your favourite cheese?

Dude, cheese is SO underrated. So versatile and diverse. My favourite cheese is feta (Canadian feta, not goat milk feta). Salty, cheese curd-like, and keeps almost forever in the fridge.

5. If you were famous on a huge scale, which current celebrity do youthink you'd most resemble in terms of behaviour/style/lifestyle?

I’m going to answer this honestly, not how I’d like to. *grumble*Unfortunately, if one looked at me a few year ago, I’d have to say I resemble Brittany Spears in stupid behaviour and lifestyle. Well, up until a year ago when I moved to the Arctic and have not had *that* much of an opportunity to act like a dumbass.

Now, I’m like Liev Schriber. I too, would lose my mind if hounded by press within one city block. Plus he dresses half decently (like I used to) and is introverted and freaking smart. Oh and he’s kinda hot, too in a non-obvious sort of way.

p.s I did not take this photo. Ryan Adams did, available at his Cardinalogy site.