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This is what it could look like when one completely deconstructs a life as one knows it, and how to build from the ground up. Alternatively, this is a fresh look at an old story. The fine art of falling apart.

you know the one I bought in Phoenix, where they sell old jewelery.

Above is the photo I took of our Thanksgiving dinner spread. It was tasty. I won't bore you with the details of how I forced lemon herbed butter underneath the skin of the turkey breast and mashed cream cheese into the potatoes. But yummy, nonetheless. Also, the peach pie I decided couldn't be that hard to bake, turned out ok, too.

In my ever changing duties at work, I had to arrange a funeral today. It's the first time I've picked out a plot, bought a casket, or tried to decide on a Catholic or Anglican ceremony. To tell you the truth, I am not even sure if this is supposed to be significant to me, or if it's just business as usual. I guess my stomach will decide.

I'm homesick, in case I haven't mentioned that before. I feel when I speak with friends or family, it's just a long list of complaints and no bright spots. I try to keep an eye out for those bright spots but it's been a little more difficult since I've started sharing space with the Italian, and I feel like I can never show my real face, even at home. And I'm not laying blame, it's really just a matter of my own comfort level with things.

So, homesick. Trying to patch together some time off for the beach vacation with Number 4 and some time with my nephews and parents and other sisters. Basically, I don't know how it's going to work. But I'll figure something out. I am thinking for January, so I still have time to work out plans.

It sounds low, but I feel good. The first snow fell and stuck to the ground. I drive around for work, and I see kids out in their snowsuits, making snow angels. They stand up to admire their work, then run off..the still falling leaves of poplars flying behind them in little whirlwinds.

It's enough.

Harder Now That It's Over - Ryan Adams

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