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About

This is what it could look like when one completely deconstructs a life as one knows it, and how to build from the ground up. Alternatively, this is a fresh look at an old story. The fine art of falling apart.

secrets Tuesday, November 25, 2008 |

well, it seemed like a really good idea at the time.


oh lordy.

Bailey's new cut. Tuesday, November 18, 2008 |

When I went away to Igloolik for a couple of days, I had to get a 'dog sitter' for Bailey. I could have taken him with me, but given that even I didn't know where I was staying, I didn't think he'd look too kindly upon too much change. So, I went to the family I had adopted him from and asked them to look after him (for a small fee, of course). They agreed and even offered to through in a hair cut. I said "Sure!" and even told them to just do the cut in the way they normally did (he is around 12 or something). So, I left him in those caring hands and went about my business. I missed him but not as much as normal, knowing he was with his old family and probably loving it.

So here is a photo I took this past summer of Bailey. He was slightly puffier a couple of weeks ago, but this is generally how he looked.

Old Bailey:
Bailey

Then. I picked him up after his baby sitting adventures. And this is what I got:

New Bailey:
Bailey's new haircut

I didn't even recognise him. I kept looking over the smiling children and jumping little dog, wondering...where's Bailey? Then I realised that the skinny, jumping little dog WAS Bailey. I was speechless.

Poor guy. I mean, here we are in -36 (with the windchill) weather and he gets stripped of all his insulation. It definitely limits the time he spends outside. Although, truth be told, he didn't spend that much time out there to begin with (thank god).
But, I just wanted to update quickly before heading home for a veggie dinner and Bailey, to watch Frasier reruns and go to bed early.

Aloha,
G.

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when it used to take only one... Friday, November 14, 2008 |

I have been staying at work through lunch lately. Not because I'm being super efficient or anything like that, mostly because it's too cold to walk home and I would spend more time walking there than actually eating lunch and relaxing. So, I just throw a can of tuna or something into my backpack before leaving in the morning.

And plain tuna from the can is no fun, let me tell you. If I were more interested or involved in the whole cooking thing, I'd be making something in the morning that would be tasty to eat at lunch. But that spells a bit more effort and time than I am willing to put in, at the moment.

Work is...still work. I made some tentative plans with an old friend yesterday. I just decided that I would go to Ireland to visit her. I'm looking at 3 weeks in June. Air fare isn't too expensive and I'm already planning to pack my purple filter to take greener than green photos of Irish countryside.

Can't wait to waste my time in a pub, too.

The only other thing that is on my mind about that trip is that I haven't seen this friend of mine in well over 10 years. And you know I am...awkward, etc. But I've given myself a stern talking-to: no acting like a pussy. Just jump in and enjoy life with other people. Even if you have to fly to Ireland to do it.

I'm glad the weekend is here so I can sleep in on purpose. I have to take photos of Bailey and his awesome new haircut. When I left the house this morning at 9, the moon was still out. Soon it will be dark all the time. Anyway, I am planning on photos this weekend. I don't know of what, or who (other than Bailey) but there should be something interesting to look at the next time you come here to read. I still have to upload some photos from the time I spent in Igloolik last weekend.

It's just so painful to do. The internet is so slow and it takes forever to load up photos to Flickr. I'm starting to resize them smaller and smaller so it takes less time.

Speaking of time; it's going by so quickly. I will be heading homeward for the holidays, spending time at my mother's then later, heading to London to live up the city life (har, har). Really, I'm just going for the take-out food. Just kidding.

Oh, and by far the best news: my sister graced us with another little nephew. He was born on Wednesday around lunch time. I was happy to hear everything had gone so well. And a bit sad because I wasn't there to see him. He will be about a month old by the time I make it down that way. 8 pounds, 2 ounces.

God, I can ramble. In any event, I'm off to smoke outside.
G.

Insomnia, that bitch. Monday, November 10, 2008 |

fall asleep...next to me...
Well, it appears that my old friend Insomnia is back for a visit. I don't know how long she will be staying. I've always thought she was a bitch to begin with, but a very smart bitch. She always seems to know when I'm vulnerable, or when I'm too tired to think of what to do next. She springs up out of my body and my mind with party balloons and unmade plans on how to spend the next few hours in her presence.

I just hate her. I know she knows. But she keeps coming back to see how I am. Either she likes me or she's a sdist. Maybe she's lonely, too. I don't know. But it doesn't make me dislike her any less.

I'm still Igloolik. I couldn't sleep the first night I got here and I seemed to be ok the following day. But I'm tired right now. My body is tired. I had a hot shower, the usual meds and I'm still up at 4 a.m. contemplating anything interesting that comes to mind as I lie there, breathing deep and praying for sleep. I've got a few things on my mind, but nothing that is overly pressing or stressful. My mind is mostly on the future.

I can't really decide where to go next when I'm done with the Arctic. I know I talk about exotic places like Paris or New York. Maybe even Vancouver. But I can't decide where, I don't want to miss out on anything, so I skim different job postings in different areas. There are a lot out there, and so it would really just be a matter of picking a place, applying and hoping for the best. But that's the hard part: picking a place.

I know that I am not likely to put in the 2 years I had initially planned on in the Arctic. The main reason has to do with work, I guess I'm just not feeling as though this job is worth the hassle and expense I go through just to be here. So, the current plan is to stay as long as I can, save as much as I can and continue to debate the merits of one new place over another.

Sometimes I have dreams where I tell myself that they would make good stories. But upon waking, I run them through my head and usually decide against them. I had one such dream last night and had thought it might be worth a 2nd thought, but the details slipped out of the slippery slope of my mind and were gone. Shame.

But, I suppose I will see if I can kick Insomnia out and try for 2 hours of sleep before I have to go in for work. I hope I don't feel like the walking dead tomorrow. Black and Blue - The Counting Crows.

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The Dark is coming... Tuesday, November 04, 2008 |

Nephews on a bridge

I think about my family every day. At some point during the day, one or a number of my family members will cross my mind. I might wonder how things are going for Em at school, or how one of my nephews are faring. Just little thoughts that plop in. I took that photo a few years ago, when the boys were willing to listen to what I was saying when I said "stand still!!".

Now, though. Photos aren't coming so easily. I couldn't figure out for the longest time what it was that was different. Then I figured it out. Turns out the Arctic isn't so inspiring most days. I mean, unless you're out at the floe (flow?) edge or gliding on a boat past huge glaciers....there isn't a whole lot to photograph. Especially in Hall Beach. I could point the camera in all directions, and it would look the same. Flat, white, blowing snow. I imagine it will be even more difficult once the dark descends on us full time.

Speaking of dark. Since we turned the clocks back, I am cranky that I am sitting in the office when the sun sets and I have to have a lamp on to see what I'm doing (I abhore flourescents). It's almost dark out there! It just feels weird. And of course, the village is alive with people and kids walking around and doing stuff.

Even though I'm not supposed to be eating this stuff, I made fried bread again last night. It didn't turn out as awesome as the first batch but it still tastes like home. In fact, all I want to do now is go back to the house and eat fried bread and watch a couple of episodes of CSI. Bailey is currently upset because I ran out of his favourite dog treats (but to be fair, so did the store) and so he has to settle for dog biscuits which I suspect is hard on his teeth (I think he has lost a few).

News on the CBC about work conditions right here in Nunavut:http://www.cbc.ca/canada/north/story/2008/11/04/nu-social.html

It will be pretty stressful for the time being. In the meantime, I'm doing my best to lower my blood sugar count so I don't go blind by the time I'm 40. I stopped drinking regular pop and switched to diet. I've also been trying to make better food choices (although I sometimes slip hence the fried bread). I don't know if it's doing any good since I don't have a blood sugar tester yet, but hopefully it is doing something. It's a day to day thing to deal with, and kind of tricky, from what I gather from other's blogs.

I guess we just have to wait and see.
Until then, I suppose I'll see you later,
G.

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