the time is now, we're getting old...
It's almost time to jet. I've got 99.9% of my things boxed up and ready to go. I've stopped buying food. I've decided on the sets of dvds to keep in my luggage for Easter Weekend Marathon. My shoes, my curtains and my lovely photos are stashed away in sealed cardboard boxes, waiting for the time to be unpacked in a new space.

It's exciting. Anti-climatic for sure (I always find it is that way). But maybe in my mind, I've been gone from here for a long time. It's just time for my body to catch up with my head.
Always seems that is the case.

I've been looking at airfare for Cuba, thinking of tacking a week on to my Ireland trip so I can roll and smoke cigars with Leesa and Caleb. Not sure that will happen, but it's kind of fun to see what something like that would cost.

Tomorrow is my last full day in Nunavut. I will spend part of Wednesday climbing in and out of airplanes but I won't be spending a whole day in Nunavut. On to a new province/territory. Time to shake off some of this old, and paw my hands through the new. That is the part I'm most excited for. The new.

The unknown.

So I leave my last entry in Nunavut, with a photo taken of me last year in Pangnirtung. Fun times in a dry community...who would have thought?

I'm tired of seeing you bundled up in all those clothes...
I've definitely had an adventure here. It wasn't the swash-buckling, crazy marathon adventures some can claim. I never did get to see a polar bear, or sit in an igloo but I met some fantastic people and bonded with a community in such a way that it almost pains me to leave now. Countless airplane rides, frequent flyer miles and a grinning face no matter which way I turn. Yeah. It's been good, but I'm really ready for something else.


Next, please.



Mexico - Hawksley Workman

Labels: 'North', Arctic, Arctic Circle, going, Nunavut, travelling

The sun has come back for short appearances at 10 in the morning. It sneaks a peek up over the farthest southern horizon you can look to, then sinks back down like a balloon losing air. Truth be told, I hardly missed it's absence. The dark is so soothing.

the baffled king composing Hallelujah...

Well, its been a bit of a rough day. Work demands strain the quality of my time spent in isolation at my new perch in Igloolik. Just here for work matters until Thursday. I have a new roommate in Hall Beach and she seems great so far. But there always is the honeymoon period. So I'm not expecting much, either from myself or her. No expectations, means no disappointments later on.
One of my secrets has been aired by another. Despite the initial burst of anger and self-righteousness, things seemed to have calmed down in my mind. I guess this stage is what one would call: Damage control. So I've sent out my white flags, and can do nothing now but hope for the best. Silly really. I never hope for the best. I have just gotten used to expecting the worst.
but I'm not really in the mood for damage control, either. In this instance, I'm hoping (oops, bit of an expectation here) that we can all act like adults and move on. But I sense that is unlikely. I can blame the one who spilled the beans, or I can blame myself for indulging myself in his audience. Either way, the damage is done.

So, I'm sitting here in the chilly living room of the house I am temporarily occupying, typing this out and listening to an old favourite. A hot bath has been drawn and bloodletting is on my mind, little silken swirls of it in steamy hot water. Memories, I suppose. Or scenes of a movie I can't look away from.

My fingernails are painted baby blue, an opposite to the black I had gotten during my airport manicure in Toronto last week (feels like a month ago). I've only been home for a week yesterday and yet, it feels as though I've been missing in action for quite some time. Or that I've been underwater, swimming. Night swimming. And only coming up for air now. This past week has felt absolutely endless.

My thoughts have turned back to what to do, where to go next and the center of my mind has been focused on teaching english overseas. Vietnam calls me, has called me in the past and it looks like a reality. Or it looks like it could become my reality. If I so choose. The idea of social work in another community or back in Ontario is not an attractive one....just now. Perhaps later.

you know, I used to live alone before I knew ya'...

My bath water is waiting, but I just got off the phone with Craig who is on his own tonight with his very busy offspring, Benji, so he has to call back once things are settled down in his household. In effect, I'm on hold. Just not on the line. Nothing's on the line. He tells me about the song he wrote for me, the lyrics should make me uncomfortable, they are that close...but instead, I'm just eager to hear the finished product and add it to my collection. He's so dear to me in an abstract sort of way, this Craig.

I'm still even, I think. Despite my efforts to sabotage the sense of being even just to see what would happen. Nothing is what has happened. And this makes me feel content.

I just want to get moving. Time to go somewhere else. Time to plan, makes solid plans and follow through. My trusty little dog packed up with me, and off I go. But that's a little ways away yet. Now is the money saving time. Later, will be the fun time.

It's just a shame I can't combine the two and do what I do best....leave.

G.

Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley

Labels: Arctic, Bailey, betrayal, friends, Gish, how not to be an idiot, Jeff Buckley, layers, mistakes, secrets, stupidity, travelling, we all lose in the end

I think about my family every day. At some point during the day, one or a number of my family members will cross my mind. I might wonder how things are going for Em at school, or how one of my nephews are faring. Just little thoughts that plop in. I took that photo a few years ago, when the boys were willing to listen to what I was saying when I said "stand still!!".

Now, though. Photos aren't coming so easily. I couldn't figure out for the longest time what it was that was different. Then I figured it out. Turns out the Arctic isn't so inspiring most days. I mean, unless you're out at the floe (flow?) edge or gliding on a boat past huge glaciers....there isn't a whole lot to photograph. Especially in Hall Beach. I could point the camera in all directions, and it would look the same. Flat, white, blowing snow. I imagine it will be even more difficult once the dark descends on us full time.

Speaking of dark. Since we turned the clocks back, I am cranky that I am sitting in the office when the sun sets and I have to have a lamp on to see what I'm doing (I abhore flourescents). It's almost dark out there! It just feels weird. And of course, the village is alive with people and kids walking around and doing stuff.

Even though I'm not supposed to be eating this stuff, I made fried bread again last night. It didn't turn out as awesome as the first batch but it still tastes like home. In fact, all I want to do now is go back to the house and eat fried bread and watch a couple of episodes of CSI. Bailey is currently upset because I ran out of his favourite dog treats (but to be fair, so did the store) and so he has to settle for dog biscuits which I suspect is hard on his teeth (I think he has lost a few).

News on the CBC about work conditions right here in Nunavut:http://www.cbc.ca/canada/north/story/2008/11/04/nu-social.html

It will be pretty stressful for the time being. In the meantime, I'm doing my best to lower my blood sugar count so I don't go blind by the time I'm 40. I stopped drinking regular pop and switched to diet. I've also been trying to make better food choices (although I sometimes slip hence the fried bread). I don't know if it's doing any good since I don't have a blood sugar tester yet, but hopefully it is doing something. It's a day to day thing to deal with, and kind of tricky, from what I gather from other's blogs.

I guess we just have to wait and see.
Until then, I suppose I'll see you later,
G.

Labels: Arctic, Arctic Circle, blood sugar, diabetes, family, food, photographs, photography

I've been listening to specific songs on repeat, again. Today, the flavour seems to be The Twilight Singers, and old favourite. The track is 'Number 9'. I can't get it out of my head. Although, to be fair, the best way I suppose would be to listen to something else. But I can't. Listening to what I actually want to listen to when I want to, is something akin to having a nice cool drink of water on a very hot day. It's just that good.

And even though I am supposed to be working (at my real job), I seem to find it necessary to update (twice in the same day). It just comes on whenever it wants to. If I were smart, I'd be updating regularly instead of so few and far in between. It comes from the feeling that I have nothing interesting to say (as opposed to right now, right??) and my laziness to pack up the modem every day after work and set it up at home.

I'm reading Joe Hill's Heart Shaped Box and loving it. Fantastic writer. It's a scary story and I'm giving myself the creeps by reading it when I live alone in the freaking Arctic. I should be smarter (but I'm not).

It's -26 today with the windchill. My truck is broken again and I don't want to eat the leftovers of the Hamburger Helper crap I made for dinner last night, tonight.

I also don't know if I'll be on a plane tomorrow morning, to go to a little town above Hall Beach (check your maps, people) for work-related junk, and probably won't know until tonight. I guess that means I ought to pack a bag. But don't they know that I need to bring my laptop, camera, books, dvds and various things ALONG with my clothing and work gear? Guess not. I kind of need more than a few hours notice for these things.

I'm also exhausted. I was fine this morning but since 11 or so, I feel like I've been run over by a truck and I just want to head straight for bed when I leave the office. No fooling around with food for dinner, no CSI reruns on dvd, no lazy hot bath...none of that. I just want the bliss of unconsciousness for at least 9 hours (yeah right). I'll be lucky if I get 5. Insomnia is still my closest friend.

Hrmm...see how much junk I can type out if given the right motivation at the right time?
Later, sweet beauties....
G.

Number 9 - The Twilight Singers

Labels: Arctic, Arctic Circle, songs on repeat, The Twilight Singers, work

I keep getting hit in the head by lines from different songs I'm listening to. They stick in my head, I use them for titles of blog entries, or for memory joggers in my day planner. People are going to think I'm seriously demented. If my stuff were to be examined by CSI, they'd never figure out who offed me...too much cross contamination of evidence.

Work is gonzo. Interesting developments that keep me intrigued, listening at the door for more information. Suddenly, I'm more interested in what's going on than I am in what I'll be making for dinner. And we all know food consumes me. Most days. It looks like I could be bouncing between two communities for work related issues, which will a.) increase the amount of air miles I collect and b.) change up scenery for my brain. So it might not be such a bad thing.

My parka arrived the other day. It's called the Resolute parka. It's by Canada Goose and a maroon colour. It's actually quite nice. And warm. I never thought they made coats so warm. I can tell that I will be toasty all winter, even in the -50 weather that's expected in December/January.

an old photo from a couple of years ago.

I got a few things in the mail yesterday. Mail day for me is always fun. I like getting stuff, even if it's pretty useless. A Chapters card came in, the Hawksley Workman album I won on Facebook, and a book by an author I thought I would try out (so far, it's pretty darn good).

Hawksley's new album is called Los Manlicious. I'm only on the 5th song and it's awesome. Reminiscent of (last night) We Were the Delicious Wolves. So snarky, nutty, cabaret-ish. It's really great. I can tell this will be an album I will listen to a lot. Very loud. It sound kind of European, if that makes any sense. It's really great to get excited about music again.

I did take a couple of new pictures lately. The problem is getting them uploaded to Flickr since I don't have an internet connection at home (well, I do if I take the modem home with me) and most nights I just leave it at work since it's easier. But I'll probably start taking it home more often just to stay caught up on the photo front.

I'm looking forward to my Christmas vacation. I've bought the ticket, planned where I will be and I can't wait for a month and a half to go by so I can be in Ontario and near my nutty family. I also can't wait to see my new nephew who is currently being hot-housed in my sister's belly (at least for another month or so) until he's ready to join us.

Anyhow, time to get back to work. God knows I'll be kept busy over the next little while.

Labels: Arctic, Arctic Circle, family, flying, Gish, hawksley, hawksley workman, holidays, job, music, music opinion, nephews, Nunavut, photographs, vacation, weather, winter, work

I've been surfing sites for easy dinner recipes and alternatively, Flickr for inspiration and other things. Then I stumbled over some sort of application site that generated all of the tags I've used for my photos at Flickr. It was interesting to see them. More interesting was the fact that several of the words were very large, and others very small to denote how often I use them.

As for the recipe action, I've decided that enough is enough and I can't go through the rest of my time in the Arctic by eating stuff like Instant Noodles. So I decided to look at what ingredients are available to me in this little town and see what I could possibly make out of them.

I found a few recipes for Ziti, which I totally have on the brain but no actual Ziti noodles so that will have to wait until I can order them. Last night's dinner consisted of chicken, cream of mushroom soup and sour cream over egg noodles. Sounds kinda gross all typed out like that, but it was really good. And even though I had to stand there at the stove, actually cooking (and kind of bored by staring at the cupboards), I was happy that I got to eat something I had actually made.

I also made some fried bread (called scone by us Indians...and remember, only other Indians are allowed to call themselves Indians) which I brought to work with me, this morning. I know the Inuit make their own form of Bannock (scone/fried bread) but I figured mine might be different.

My cooking fried bread is usually a 50-50 thing. It can go either way. I might add too much flour, or too much water, or forget the baking powder, who knows. But sometimes it works. Last night was one of those nights. Well, I thought it was pretty good.

No real cooking tonight. Just reheating leftovers, and making this mexican layer dip thing for the weekend (a non-cook dish that I used to make all the time). Also, my old roommate and I are going to mass produce perogies this weekend. She knows how to make them, I'm just along for the ride (for help and company). Seems like a good alternative to my usual laying around-doing nothing sort of Saturday afternoon.

My idea is to start cooking a bunch of stuff on the weekends that I can reheat during the week. Healthier stuff than the Instant Noodles, and real meals so my mom can stop worrying that I'm existing on rice, etc whilst living up here. Emboldened by my moderate success of dinner last night, I think I can actually make myself learn how to do things correctly and (hopefully patiently) in the kitchen.

As for Flickr, I'm trying to make my photography better and want to be inspired by *something*, anything, so I've been looking for assignment groups to join. The idea is that if I have an assignment or homework to complete, that I will be inspired to take more pictures. For instance, I haven't uploaded anything to Flickr in almost 3 weeks. I used to do it daily. I want to do it that way, again.

The weather is calling for a huge winter storm for Hall Beach starting tonight and lasting all through the day tomorrow. Apparently, 10 to 15 cm of snow and Winds gusting at times to 70 or 80 km/h which will create near-zero visibilities in blowing snow. I mostly copied that from the weather page *grin*. We already have snow on the ground here. We had a nasty winter storm last Sunday which made my entire house move with every wind gust. It doesn't really bother me. As long as I can stay inside.

Still with me?

Labels: Arctic, Arctic Circle, cooking, food, photographs, photography, weather

I have actually been working like the proverbial dog, so haven't had any chance at all to do my ordinary internet activities. That is not to say there haven't been journal entries floating around in my head like little story fruits. Fruits, not fishes. Fruit I can eat right away. Fish, I actually need to prepare and dig in.

Work, of course has been crazy. Today it's still busy, but not so bad I can't sit here and quickly type out an entry for your feasting eyes and brain.

Home life, not so awesome. I'm starting to miss things more intensely. Like sushi. The Vietnam Restaurant (really, the guy should be paying me, the amount of times I mention this place). I miss my nephews. I miss my mom, and even my cranky stepdad.

I've been waffling on whether or not to go home for Christmas, not because I don't want to see anyone, but because of the cost it involves. I've been lucky the past few times to catch a ride on a south bound plane, but this time, I'll actually have to pay. To the tune of over $2500.00. Depressingly, I noticed I can fly to Hawaii for that amount. And I've pretty much decided to do it, because really...I can easily get my savings back up again (the trip home plus an arctic winter parka that I have to buy for the coming winter, wipes out pretty much my entire nest egg) and the trip will be worth it, really. I just looked at the dates and it looks like I can get in almost 4 weeks of family and 'being in the South' goodness before coming back here and waiting out the dark winter months.

The parka. Ok. I bought one down south before coming up here, knowing full well I would be needing a more 'bells and whistles' type of jacket for the -60 temps that are the norm around here in January and February. So I've been shopping around. Two problems, the parkas I've been looking at aren't what are necessary up here, and I need a larger size (which I rarely see). So, not only do I never see Arctic-hardy parkas but I also need them in size gigantic.

But then I find one. Even one in my size. But it's over $700.00 and I just cringe at spending that amount of money on a jacket that doesn't say Prada on it somewhere. They have it in size Fat, but it's a purple colour, and it's pretty darn big (I just know it will weigh a ton, goosedown and all that). Which all just reaffirms my theory that the clothing industry is trying to shame/embarrass fat people into losing weight by making them wear hideous clothes. I did eventually find a place that sells them for 400 dollars instead of the full price, and after mulling it over for a few days, I placed the order today. It's a good brand, and I've heard nothing but good reviews about it, so I know at least I won't be cold when I'm out and about enjoying the -60 wind chill action come January. I guess I'm just cheap.

A self portrait I took a couple of weeks ago.


Had a good Thanksgiving. I went to eat dinner with a couple of the teachers but I ended up drinking way too much wine and barfing. I would expand on that, but something tells me you don't really want to hear that part. At the end of the night, I tucked up my leftovers on a tinfoil covered plate and listened to Matt Good on my walk home. I remember really hoping I wasn't being stupid, carrying food around with me when there are apparently polar bears all over the place. One bad dream, and suddenly the white furry bears scare the crap out of me.

Last night, the chronic insomnia returned with a very mean vengeance. I fell asleep at a reasonable 8-ish (long day when you're kind of hung over) and awoke at 10:30, not falling asleep until about 6 this morning. I got 2 more hours in before having to get up and get ready for work. For some reason this time around, I don't feel like death warmed over today. Maybe it will hit me at quitting time. I'm tired, just not so much so that I want to quit my job and go hide under the covers until the spring thaw.

So, that's it. On my menu this week, it appears to be shrimp. I just need decent seafood sauce and then I'm 'cooking with gas'. I bought another bag of shrimp at lunch time today, it's in a grocery bag hanging off the doorknob to the back door, so it stays frozen for when I go home. I can be smart like that sometimes.
Later,G
.p.s almost forgot. midnight or early morning phone calls to people you'd never normally talk to...are usually a bad idea. Food for thought.

Labels: 'North', alcohol, Arctic, Arctic Circle, how not to be an idiot, Matthew Good, theory

I use up all your forgiveness. Only Bailey continually forgives me for calling him the wrong name (usually Buckley). He doesn't seem to mind. He doesn't even mind when I change the furniture around and he stumbles from one road block to the next (he is blind, remember).

My desk is overflowing with paper. It's coming in from all sides. A form for everything. But there doesn't seem to be one to tell me when it's time to go home. Work is actually interesting today. But I'm not sure when I'll be finished for....the day, anyway.

I broke one of my only rules in the Gish Likes A Guy book. I actually waited for some guy to give me a call, after I had called and left a message. I don't really know what I was thinking, other than the fact that I have precious little else to do, and that I kinda thought I could really dig him. All this, even though I kept insisting to everyone (including myself) that he was SO not my type (he really isn't). Nuts to that, though.

I shouldn't be down about it (and I guess I'm not really) because men wash up on the beach with startling regularity. Pilots, lawyers, scientists of all sorts. But they don't really hold my interest. I'm the one that likes to be caught off guard. Not the kind to watch someone come out of the water, with a resume in their hands, and all their good attributes that steam from my stereotypical mind of what pilots, lawyers and scientists should bear. yeah, something like that.

I'm really looking forward to quitting time today. I'm hoping a bunch of books I ordered are at the post office, and I am really looking forward to buying a new pack of socks. Cold feet and literature.

What more could a girl want?

Labels: 'North', Arctic, blah, men

never turn your back on it...
It's been awhile since I've cranked the stereo as loud as I can take it, and listen to my favourite songs. If I even knew what my favourite songs were, but that's beside the point. It's nice to hear what I love, while I'm puttering around the house.

Semi-productive day at work today. I came home awhile ago, turned on the music and have been debating on what to have for dinner since then. In a way, updating my journal is my way of avoiding the food issue until I can sit there and fully debate the facts of what will taste better and actually satisfy my hunger monster. I'm on the fence about pork chops and salad, when I can just eat the salad and still feel full. Plus, I wouldn't have to actually cook anything. Yeah...I'm still a non-cooking person. If I were really lazy, I would just make those potato wedge things that I've been eating for the past few days.

Now, My Morning Jacket is playing and it's so nice. I really dig the guy's voice. Once dinner prep is finished, Dexter will be put on again, which I will watch until 7:30 or so. Then it's bed time, where I make a pot of tea and read until 9:30 or so. Then I try to sleep. I'm really digging the pot of tea before bed, though. Makes me feel so civilized.

I ordered this jacket from Sears last week, thinking I would need something heavier than my standard zipped up sweaters over tshirts. It got here yesterday, I was thinking cool...fast mail service for a change. But when I tried it on (and I totally got my size right), I found the sleeves rode up a good 3 inches past my wrists. Ridiculous. I mean, I know I have long arms, but shizo, man. So, I am debating on sending it back or just wearing it anyway. Decisions, decisions.

I've been going through books like crazy. Mostly due to my extended reading time before bed, and it's nice. to catch up with myself in my head, while I'm reading something I haven't read 15 times already. More books are set to arrive soon from Chapters.

I had all these little tidbits I was going to write about, but I kind of...forgot what they were. Little things I was annoyed with probably. I've been trying to think of what they were, running the days activities through my head but I'm coming up blank. I may have to resort to writing them down as they happen. Ha. Fat chance.

Oh, I was annoyed when I tried to find Tea Party songs on iTunes (which I think sucks now) and only one album was available in the US store, which I couldn't access with my 'Canadian' credit card. I was all set to listen to old songs I used to love (and own at one point) but no deal. That made me cranky. Now, I'm going to have to order all the cds...:) see how this love stays divine

Things I want. Things I think of, when the lights are out. So sweetly painful.


Weapon - Matthew Good
Fire in the Head - The Tea Party

Labels: Apostle, Arctic, music, The Tea Party

soldiers fill the hotels on the weekend...
It's snowing here again, today. It's the wispy, unsure kind of snow. It doesn't know whether it's coming or going. It falls in small waves, the wind buffetting the fragile flakes around like New Years confetti. I've been watching it through one of my office windows, while I attend to things at work. The appearance of snow tells my brain that I ought to be putting up christmas lights, and shopping for and wrapping presents. But my logical sense (which has been known to be faulty) kicks in and reminds me that it's only the middle of September.

Still, though. I've been thinking about starting to plan for the holidays. Not the buying and wrapping of presents, but booking airfare and the time off to go home. When I first got here, I said I wouldn't go home for Christmas. But now that I'm here, I think; why the fuck not? So, seat sales, and credit limits have been floating around in my head for the past week or so.

A couple of weeks ago, a friend and I had driven out past the village limits to take a look at the whale that had been caught in early August (while I was away on vacation). There wasn't much left to see, except for a few rib bones and the jaw bone. The jaw was angled on the ground so that it pointed towards the sky, the knuckle bigger than a basketball, completely picked clean of any flesh.

What was left of the whale, looked like industrial waste. What had once been shiny black skin stretched over a 44 foot Bowhead whale was now in tatters. It shrunk back over the blubber that was a surprising shade of orange, reminding me of insulation one puts in their attics. the bones that were left behind were scattered around, some parts of the vertebrae and others appearing to be rib bones which looked smaller than one would imagine.

I took some photos and noticed several hills of gravel marked with posts, all lined up in a row that went down the beach. I was told that is where the majority of the whale meat has been buried in order to ferment. The locals will dig it up at Christmas time. Fermented meat is apparently a delicacy in these parts.

When someone mentioned the annual whale hunt to me, pictures of the shiny black tail fin flipped up out of the water came to mind. Along with images of the body, beached on it's side. Complete. Whole. I was disappointed that I had missed this annual event, but am confident that I will be here next year for the hunt.

I just can't get the idea of the black tail fin, wet and shiny from the water, out of my mind. Like a hand, waving good bye.


Jacksonville Skyline - Whiskeytown

Labels: 'North', Arctic, Arctic Circle, snow, traditional hunting, weather, whale, whales