Listening to Hawksley Workman, cycling through the old stuff I've never heard and the usual stuff I adore. What a man. Had a sweet little dream about him last night. What a man.

But anyway, I took the afternoon off to ramp up for my On Call work thing that starts tomorrow. I was also extremely cranky this morning, and felt that I should not be in the office before I wig out on someone for no good reason. Mostly, I'm just tired from last night. I woke up every hour, maybe getting about 20 minutes out of each hour actually sleeping. It sucked.

So, nap time this afternoon.

If I've been clear at all in my past few posts, I am absolutely obsessed with eye makeup right now. I came across this girl that does videos on Youtube for tutorials and tips, that sort of thing. Very useful and handy. And it's nice to see someone not afraid to use a lot of kickass colour. So if you're into it, her blog is here where you will find links to her Twitter and Youtube action.
http://www.vintageortacky.com

My link action hasn't been so hot lately, not sure why. I blame Blogger, personally. That will be something that will be addressed at the new site (whenever it gets finished...I have a hard time deciding on stuff!).

Chapters finally came through and a lot of new books were delivered today, along with a Yoga/Pilates dvd set I had ordered (in a fit of insanity) while in the Arctic...even though they had already sent me the set back before I moved here. So, two sets of dvds that I never, ever use. *sigh* Wish it could be like...two copies of a fabulous book or something.

In any event, the new books I have are awesome. I am going to read one until I get sleepy for a nap this afternoon. The problem will be trying to figure out which one goes first.

Decisions, decisions...

What Could I Tell You - Hawksley Workman

Labels: books, dvds, eye makeup, hawksley, hawksley workman, makeup, music, reading, work

I'm watching a live version of Paper Shoes by Hawksley Workman on Youtube. I'm not normally a Youtube kind of girl but I make exceptions for all things Hawksley. Or makeup related.

But here's the link for Paper Shoes. don't you get lazy on me, sweet honey baby...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mslOvrrCxpA
He talks about playing Risk instead of making love. Hilarious. Great showman, for sure.

Friends over to make dinner yesterday. Lots of Pinot Noir and red sauce (made from scratch, another bonus of hanging around a guy from Italy--he has the ability to cook real food) and good conversation. Getting more comfortable with having someone around. Did I mention the reading of Dante's Inferno in the original Italian? *grin*. Right.

Alessandro's hands. A hands photo to add to my collection.


A quick shot while he's pretending to sleep.


power. balance. power.
I'm always fascinated with the angles and lines of a new face. Something for me to look at, something new to touch and be touched by. It's interesting. I horde my alone time, and it's ok that way. I dig it. I smear yellow eye shadow over my lids and the mascara is so sharp and black that it's almost enough to cut like a blade. I dig it.

I would have taken more photos but my battery charger is totally missing in action. I've no idea where I put it, which is too bad because there seem to be so many photo ops lately. When I think to look for it, my attention is usually then drawn elsewhere. I will have to write it on a pink Post-it and stick it to the mirror in order to refocus my attention on what's important.

Document, document, document.

Labels: eye makeup, lover, makeup, music

A part of my life that I haven't been paying attention to for the past while has revealed itself, demanding attention. So, since I listen to what my head says (most times) I said ok, lets go. I started seeing Alessandro and am just feeling things out very, very slowly. Not typical Gish-way, at all. Usually I rush into things, and examine the pieces after the fact. But this time, I'm content with taking it slow.

This is for a multitude of reasons that I don't know I can explain here. Perhaps another time. But rest assured, it's fun in a weird sort of way and I absolutely *love* the fact that he can read Dante's Inferno to me in the original Italian. That's what I get for dating a guy from Milan. Score! (literary score, at least).

Oh yeth.


Just a shot of my bag when I was on my way from Scotland back to Ireland in June. I had it crammed full of stuff. The top layer being exposed has all of the essentials I would need to grab at a moments notice. The middle and bottom layers having clothes, books and other things I wouldn't need while in transit.

Notice the awesome Clinique makeup travel kit. Fab buy in Duty free. The iPod, a necessity. Travel journal. British cigarettes, galaxy bar in case I needed sustenance and my new Fluff wallet that I adore even though I've always been into smaller, non-girly sorts of wallets.

Joy in small places:
- I am having a cup of Kickass (a brand of strong coffee beans) coffee, in bed while I update my journal.
- The Ghost of You Lingers by Spoon just came on the iPod in the other room, love that song.
- Bailey, satisfied from his morning activities, is sleeping at the foot of the bed.
- I got out of bed reasonably early this morning.
- Alessandro has soccer this evening and I may go and watch.
- did I mention my coffee tastes amazing this morning?
- I cleaned my bedroom yesterday so it is reasonably tidy now.
- new makeup coming from Sephora!
- new books and personal products coming in the mail, too!
- going to try a different eyeshadow combo for today.
- My new bedsheets are amazing!

Makeup and getting ready for work time.

Labels: dating, eye makeup, internet shopping, music, photographs

Hear me out...

I still care for you...
Don't ask. I'll tell. I guess I always tell.

keep having this dream, in the night where it seems I can fly, but only when no one's around.
I was driving somewhere yesterday, caught sight of someone who looked so familiar that it went straight to my stomach and sat there like a happy little present. It gave me a little glow that faded by the time I lit my next cigarette. But things like that always bring stuff to the front of my mind. It mingles there with my Day Planner, my Post-it notes, and my endless cups of coffee that fuel my working day. In among all of the other names, and possibilities that are thrown my way (increasingly so, lately), you're still there.
Can't you see what you mean to me?
I know it's lame. But there it is. Again.

I write this in a moment of weakness. My defenses are down. My mouth still frozen and swollen from the dentist. My eye makeup is perfect But my eyes are glassy. I'm bruised and in some pain physically and that makes it easier for emotion to sneak in.

I keep having this thought that you don't even exist and I just made you up.
I'm aware that this is completely in the abstract, that I've most likely constructed a golem of you in my mind. And that I don't know you anymore. A figure of plaster and paint and mud, wearing the bright blue that grace the statues of the Virgin Mary's. Something someone puts on their dashboard. In hope. But I don't have any hope with your statue. It's more like a keepsake. A reminder of something that flared up so briefly in my bruised up little heart all those years ago that made a lasting sore there that aches every so often.

So, I'll take these thoughts to bed with me, under the covers with a flashlight.

Click on. Click off.





I Still Care For You - Ray Lamontagne
Becky, I Keep Singing This Song - Hey Rosetta!

Labels: abstract thought, Apostle, dentist, emotion, Hey Rosetta, how not to be an idiot, lyrics, music, Ray Lamontagne, The Apostle

Drove to a little town called High Level this past weekend. It's in Alberta. I've never been. I like crossing borders. Makes me feel as though I'm doing something totally different even though there's no real line separating one province from another. But according to everyone, there is a difference. Suddenly I'm meeting up with cars that have different license plates than I do, little red ones. Mine is in the shape of a polar bear. Not by choice, just what they happen to issue way up here.

I've had a great week so far. Things seem to be falling into place. I'm back in the cockpit of a car, with all of my music at my fingertips, or on shiny little discs that I have a fondness for making.

And now, I'm sitting in my bedroom listening to and searching for little covers of great songs that I adore. Live cuts, rare releases. It's like how I imagine crack cocaine to be. Lou Reed is in the background.

Bailey is in the other room, sometimes he gets stuck on the other side of the house not able to see how to make it back to wherever I am. I check my mailbox every day. I make coffee with my little french press, fresh ground beans (still working on the art of grinding) and slip into my makeup and clean clothes every crisp frosty morning. I feel like I'm living a real life again. One filled with the minutia I've missed from my London days.

But I look at the clock now and see it's time for the evening movie. And I just noticed that I have about 4 different versions of Sweet Jane. Also, for some reason...I have always felt Lou Reed could be a genius but he is a little...creepy.

:)

Labels: home improvement, music, new, new home, Northwest Territories

I used to listen to *a lot* of Hawksley Workman. He was always on in the background, I read his writings and musings like they were the last drops of water from a bottle and I was in the desert. I just devoured anything he came up with.

And I spread the word. But after awhile. It was like I let out a secret secret and suddenly it didn't seem so good. I still enjoyed it, but not to the degree I once had.

BUT. I was recently reminded of a live thing he did for the CBC. Oh. My. God. It's hilarious and real, and sexy and it's so good, I had to transcribe (most of it) and post it here for your viewing pleasure. Email me if you want a copy of the mp3. Seriously. It's amazing.

And I trust my lust.
It’s Deep and it’s dirty and it’s dark and it’s true.
It’s deep and it’s dirty and it’s dark and it’s true.
It feels so low and it’s kind of slow and it’s not very fast either.
Trust your lust
Yep, wouldn’t trust anything else, not like my lust.
Thank goodness you’re the least terrible deadly sin. Never thought you were all that bad anyway.
With your writhing on the floor and your all night cravings
Never thought you were that bad anyway
And you feel nice in my hip pocket, close to my skin
And you help me sway when I walk…
You’re really not that….bad.
And I don’t take you to meet my mother, but I know she knows were together
I wouldn’t take you to Christmas dinner or thanksgiving too
I trust you lust, but I wouldn’t introduce you to my mother
No…never!!!!
Oh lust, you make me do things they say I’m not suppose to
Well look at them, walking so stiff and holding their little faces so tight
Pretending that *that* something isn’t there
Like they got it all figured out!
But you can’t be mastered and you can’t be beaten!
And they day will come when they will break down, weeping at your feet!
You can only fight the animal for so long till you become it…and it becomes you.
So just trust your lust.
Just trust your lust.
Your lust….your lust!!

Labels: canadian, CBC, funny, hawksley workman, music, spoken word

December 13, 2008. 2:00 p.m.
get the wheel, lets go for a ride...
Jesus Fucking Christ. I love going to places. Staying in one spot for too long drives me a little batty. But the getting to the plane, being in the plane also drives me a little nuts. Sartre was totally spot on: Hell is other people.

Let me repeat: Hell IS other people.

No one has any consideration for anyone else. They are all just yackity yack at you no matter how engrossed you appear to be in your book. They listen to music (which in istelf is completely fine) but with ear phones that seem to be broadcasting the music to the rest of the plane rather than the person they are actually plugged in to.

I wasn't planning on pulling out my iPod to listen to music during the shorter flights because I've been totally lost in A Dull Roar by Henry Rollins (who, by the way totally gets what it is like to want to be alone) but the guy in the NEXT aisle over is listening to his iPod at some insane volume on the worst headphones, ear buds whatever...they are obviously not doing the trick. And I think it's old ACDC he's listening to. Great, the trailer trash music follows me everywhere.

go ahead, I said....erase
So, I'm sitting here, typing up a new entry on my laptop, trying to drown out the smells and noises of the people surrounding me. I guess I've been in the North too long, living it up on my own with too much relish, because last night I went into a bar to get a G&T and got a little twitchy for all the people in the place. All of them loaded, leering and loud. That didn't stop me from snorkeling down 4 drinks in 45 minutes before tottering out, but it wasn't the most enjoyable experience. I went back to the hotel room, listened to music, read and surfed the net.

I can see the airline ladies serving food ahead of me, and pouring drinks. They actually have wine. I wonder if I will have any. I don't think so. I am more hungry than anything else. It's a long plane ride (for me, anyway) of three hours, so maybe a bit of wine will help me conk out for a bit. Interesting to see my thought processes, isn't it?

Food time.

9:03 p.m.
are you still there? Yeah, I'm here
In Toronto. At a Perkin's restaurant next to the hotel I'm staying at. They lost my bag, which I expected. I don't know why. I just presumed that there would be an issue. Any time I am not dragging my luggage off a conveyor belt at each airport I ghost through, I just presume no one else will do it for me. And apparently I was right (this time). Luckily, I am used to travelling somewhat lightly, and packed everything essential in my backpack which comes on with me. Camera, laptop, sleeping clothes.

December 14, 2008. 9:08 a.m.
On a small plane to Sudbury, Ontario. Met up with Pam, a friend of mine from a few years ago. We keep in touch but so weird to run into one another just out of the blue. Took a photo. Will post later.

Bag found. All harmony restored to present state. Looking forward to landing and getting a coffee and having a long cigarette. This is only an hour long flight. Had one last night as well from Ottawa to Toronto. Watched a small part of The Dark Knight. I have a little thing for Heath Ledger. But we landed too quickly for me to get too far into the movie. Will have to pick it up at some point.

Almost 'home'. Where is home exactly...?

December 18, 2008. 10:32 p.m.
Updating journals. Alone in the house in Northern Ontario. Parents have gone to pick up one of the nephews in London. The christmas lights are on, the house must look like a beacon of sorts. The northern ontario winter is in full bloom and the snow falls while I'm outside smoking. Buckley and Marble in some sort of glory, with the treats I hand out and Beebs sleep beside me at night. I wish they were packable so I could bring them with me wherever I go.

Small road trip planned for tomorrow. Just me, music and the road. Black ribbons of it rising up in front of me. My mascaraed eyes and plumes of cigarette smoke.

Can you picture it, beauties?

Get the Wheel - Greg Dulli
The Lure Would Prove to Be too Much - The Twilight Singers

Labels: 'North', music, Northern Ontario, Nunavut, packing, pets, The Twilight Singers, travelling, Twilight Singers, writing

I keep getting hit in the head by lines from different songs I'm listening to. They stick in my head, I use them for titles of blog entries, or for memory joggers in my day planner. People are going to think I'm seriously demented. If my stuff were to be examined by CSI, they'd never figure out who offed me...too much cross contamination of evidence.

Work is gonzo. Interesting developments that keep me intrigued, listening at the door for more information. Suddenly, I'm more interested in what's going on than I am in what I'll be making for dinner. And we all know food consumes me. Most days. It looks like I could be bouncing between two communities for work related issues, which will a.) increase the amount of air miles I collect and b.) change up scenery for my brain. So it might not be such a bad thing.

My parka arrived the other day. It's called the Resolute parka. It's by Canada Goose and a maroon colour. It's actually quite nice. And warm. I never thought they made coats so warm. I can tell that I will be toasty all winter, even in the -50 weather that's expected in December/January.

an old photo from a couple of years ago.

I got a few things in the mail yesterday. Mail day for me is always fun. I like getting stuff, even if it's pretty useless. A Chapters card came in, the Hawksley Workman album I won on Facebook, and a book by an author I thought I would try out (so far, it's pretty darn good).

Hawksley's new album is called Los Manlicious. I'm only on the 5th song and it's awesome. Reminiscent of (last night) We Were the Delicious Wolves. So snarky, nutty, cabaret-ish. It's really great. I can tell this will be an album I will listen to a lot. Very loud. It sound kind of European, if that makes any sense. It's really great to get excited about music again.

I did take a couple of new pictures lately. The problem is getting them uploaded to Flickr since I don't have an internet connection at home (well, I do if I take the modem home with me) and most nights I just leave it at work since it's easier. But I'll probably start taking it home more often just to stay caught up on the photo front.

I'm looking forward to my Christmas vacation. I've bought the ticket, planned where I will be and I can't wait for a month and a half to go by so I can be in Ontario and near my nutty family. I also can't wait to see my new nephew who is currently being hot-housed in my sister's belly (at least for another month or so) until he's ready to join us.

Anyhow, time to get back to work. God knows I'll be kept busy over the next little while.

Labels: Arctic, Arctic Circle, family, flying, Gish, hawksley, hawksley workman, holidays, job, music, music opinion, nephews, Nunavut, photographs, vacation, weather, winter, work

never turn your back on it...
It's been awhile since I've cranked the stereo as loud as I can take it, and listen to my favourite songs. If I even knew what my favourite songs were, but that's beside the point. It's nice to hear what I love, while I'm puttering around the house.

Semi-productive day at work today. I came home awhile ago, turned on the music and have been debating on what to have for dinner since then. In a way, updating my journal is my way of avoiding the food issue until I can sit there and fully debate the facts of what will taste better and actually satisfy my hunger monster. I'm on the fence about pork chops and salad, when I can just eat the salad and still feel full. Plus, I wouldn't have to actually cook anything. Yeah...I'm still a non-cooking person. If I were really lazy, I would just make those potato wedge things that I've been eating for the past few days.

Now, My Morning Jacket is playing and it's so nice. I really dig the guy's voice. Once dinner prep is finished, Dexter will be put on again, which I will watch until 7:30 or so. Then it's bed time, where I make a pot of tea and read until 9:30 or so. Then I try to sleep. I'm really digging the pot of tea before bed, though. Makes me feel so civilized.

I ordered this jacket from Sears last week, thinking I would need something heavier than my standard zipped up sweaters over tshirts. It got here yesterday, I was thinking cool...fast mail service for a change. But when I tried it on (and I totally got my size right), I found the sleeves rode up a good 3 inches past my wrists. Ridiculous. I mean, I know I have long arms, but shizo, man. So, I am debating on sending it back or just wearing it anyway. Decisions, decisions.

I've been going through books like crazy. Mostly due to my extended reading time before bed, and it's nice. to catch up with myself in my head, while I'm reading something I haven't read 15 times already. More books are set to arrive soon from Chapters.

I had all these little tidbits I was going to write about, but I kind of...forgot what they were. Little things I was annoyed with probably. I've been trying to think of what they were, running the days activities through my head but I'm coming up blank. I may have to resort to writing them down as they happen. Ha. Fat chance.

Oh, I was annoyed when I tried to find Tea Party songs on iTunes (which I think sucks now) and only one album was available in the US store, which I couldn't access with my 'Canadian' credit card. I was all set to listen to old songs I used to love (and own at one point) but no deal. That made me cranky. Now, I'm going to have to order all the cds...:) see how this love stays divine

Things I want. Things I think of, when the lights are out. So sweetly painful.


Weapon - Matthew Good
Fire in the Head - The Tea Party

Labels: Apostle, Arctic, music, The Tea Party

Sitting here, pretending to decompress but I have nothing to decompress from. Sweet music the past couple of days, things I haven't heard before. I'm really relaxed now, now that I'm back at Rose's, my laptop set up like a beacon in the night and pepsi melting ice in a glass at my wrist. The cigarettes are burning in the ashtray and I keep thinking about men that read books and silly conversations in the middle of small forests.

It's amazing what sticks in my brain, sometimes.

I just got back from a weekend of camping (sort of). In my apparent brainlessness, I didn't check with my friend Cris as to which campsite she'd be at before leaving London on Friday. So I ended up driving around the whole camping place, smoking furious cigarettes and listening to The Twilight Singers on a loop, looking for a familiar tent. After an hour and a half, I gave up and went to a shitty motel for 50 bucks a night, sleeping on a dubious bed and reading The World According to Garp.

but lights out feels so good don't spare my fate...I finally connected with friends on Saturday and set up my sleeping bag next to my ipod (har, har). I spent the day reading in a camp chair and enjoying the sound of leaves in the warm air, festival music filtering up towards me like a little wave.

Later on that night, Cris and I went looking for her musician friends, we found a hot campfire and settled down to late night jamming. I sat next to a stand-up bass player who looked like a long drink of cool water. Alcohol smoothed over my rough edges and I blended in better than I thought I might.

Then I met this guy who had the sweetest voice and was shyer than I am. Thank god for beer.
Cristine made fun of the fact that I bought this enormous jar of pickles, but I'm too inexperienced to plan for camping. I, of the view that food should come in the form of takeout at 3 in the morning. So...I gave them away to the guy who had a tent full of cucumbers and pepperoni.

that would be Jesse Reid. Although I may be spelling his name wrong. And to his credit, he didn't fall down once carrying that jar of pickles. No matter how much I teased him.

soldiers filled the hotels on the weekends...
Then Sunday, I couldn't sleep in because the tent was in the sun and I was roasting, so I got up semi-early, scratched all the mosquito bites I acquired the night before and had a fried breakfast down by the stage. Then I parked my ass in a camp chair and listened to music all day. I made my escape at 5 and checked into that same shitty motel for 12 hours of sleep on a mattress with A & E on in the background. Dr. Pepper on my bedside table and the crumpled cigarette pack sitting in the ashtray.

Here's Cris, laughing at me, probably.


So, camping was fun, meeting new people was ok, but I totally do not dig sleeping on the ground. No matter how comfy my sleeping bag was. Cris tells me to stop pining for John Malkovich so I guess I should concentrate on something else. Maybe next time I'll sneak around and leave notes on tents and take part in the scavenger hunt.

Stay tuned for more vacation adventures like notes on sleeping in and staying up too late. Love,G.

Jacksonville Skyline - Whiskeytown
Pussywillow - The Twilight Singers

Labels: music, vacation

...and your love was like a broken bottle.
yep, been slacking on the updating action. I can't remember if I mentioned this before, but I've become enamored with instant potatoes and fat Bing cherries. Not together, of course...but those are the two things that I've been subsisting on lately. It's just the way I eat, if left to my own devices. I would have had it for lunch today if I hadn't been invited to the DEW line, which is cool because they have an indoor smoking room. And tons of new guys that I haven't met before. Nice on the eyes, and it's not like I'm expected to make conversation. Or rather, I am...I just don't. I use the shield of shyness nearly everywhere I go.

I promised photos of the new bedroom. I didn't want to post any after awhile because it seemed like a trite thing to take pictures of, but here's one of the closet and window area.
I just love the angles of this place.

drawing circles in your concret, I will know your every move...
Sometimes, I crank the music up in my office while I'm typing away at whatever I'm working on. In the blandness of the afternoon light, my fingers are a stark colour against the black of the keyboard. It keeps my eyes moving. Makes me miss typewriters. Where your eyes had something to follow, back and forth. I wish I had a typewriter.

I will love you....I won't let go...
Anyway, I'd better get going. I'm planning a walk tonight, did I say that? I will post pictures when....I feel like it. heh.
G.

Broken Bottle - Pete YornUndercover - Pete Yorn

Labels: flowers, forgetfullness, forgot, hawksley workman, music, Nunavut, photographs, photography

there's a town in North Ontario...


I love the scent of the blossoms that floats around me when I'm sitting on the front steps of my parents house. It occurs to me that I took everything around for granted. Everything. The sharp blades of green grass, the budding leaves and the falling-open blossoms of the apple trees and lilac bushes. I knew that nature was happening around me, but I didn't pay any attention to it. And how much I liked it. Especially flowers. I just can't get enough of the scent of fresh lilacs in the vase in front of me.

I'm just enjoying it now.

I even cooked dinner for my family this evening. I never cook, anyone who has read this journal knows I'm no genius in the kitchen. It was just burgers and pasta salad with sugar peas but it was good and it was satisfying to sit down to eat. When we were at the grocery store, I had to force myself to not buy too much, reminding myself I could come back to the store and all the fresh produce would still be there. Crazy how much my perspective has been scewed since moving to Very Northern Canada.

In a fit of I-Don't-Know-What, Chunk and I bought a big box of fireworks. Stay tuned for either a very sad accidental dismemberment or fabulous photograhs.

Labels: family, food, homesweet home, music, nature, Northern Ontario, vacation

I got off the plane last night. It was raining. I breathed in the Northern Ontario air automatically. And immediately recognised the scent of wet spruce trees. It smelled so delicious. I knew I was back on my own sort of soil.

The flight was so smooth, I wish I could fly that way all the time. I was the only passenger and every time I got off the plane (to refuel) I felt like a rockstar or something. It was fun. The flight was so smooth, those pilots really knew what they were doing. I thought because it was a smaller plane that it would be rocky but nope. Awesome.

Checked into a cheap motel and went next door for a Gin & Tonic. It was so good. Then grabbed something to eat and came back to the room to eat and watch The Breakfast Club.

Now I'm back on Manitoulin and I can't get over how green everything is. It's like I forgot how green, green can be. I took polaroids during the drive home and of Marble and Buckley when I arrived. They seemed happy enough to see me, but it's really Beebs that has stuck to me like glue. She's so soft and pretty, and I missed her so much.

I'll sleep early again tonight and wait for my parents to get home tomorrow, then it will really feel like I came home. The house now is empty except for the pets and it feels a little like a motel. Maybe I'm travelling too much. Maybe the smell of burning rubber from the wheels of planes has corrupted my mind. Sometimes, I think I smell like burning rubber. Or that my breath smells like the inside of every plane. My couch, the window seat I covet.

But for now, any angst aside, I'm glad to be here. Maybe some photos tomorrow.

Everything is in bloom. Maybe me, too.

Labels: holidays, music, pets, travelling

Ok. Sometimes, I pretend I'm singing when music is playing in my office. I do this partly because I'm bored out of my skull right now, and also because the music is pretty damn good. Right now it happens to be Bridge Over Troubled Waters by Simon and Garfunkel. I mean..how could you not pretend to be on a stage, in a spotlight, singing? Well, in my case lip-syncing.

A week from now I am to start a two week vacation. This seems like such a short time for me, at my old job I am used to having a month off at a time, but only because I scheduled it like that. I'm sure I could have a month now, but I guess I never really thought about taking a whole month so soon after starting. I know, I know..inane details that no one really needs to know.

well here's some more.
I was craving fruit juice this afternoon. So, I went to our little store and bought two bottles of juice, then a bottle of flavoured milk..I have no idea why other than the bananas looked appealing on the front of the bottle. I don't even like milk. I only have milk when I'm eating Lucky Charms. Weird. Anyhow, I came back and downed the two bottles of orange juice and craving is satisfied.

Nice that I can still do some things around here, even though I am starting to think Whoppers from Burger King are sounding really good about now.

I stayed up really late last night, downloading music like a fiend. I've been meaning (for like, two years) to get some of the songs from the Six Feet Under soundtrack, but never got around to it. Luckily, the songs are listed with each scene they were played on, at the website. Very handy.
Then I got distracted by old Joni Mitchell songs, so I grabbed a few of those. Then more Bob Dylan. Then I discovered a whole untapped resource of Ryans Adams stuff when he was with Whiskeytown, so of course...got some of those as well. There's so much great music out there that it's almost overwhelming.

I'm just going to go straight to bed after dinner tonight. If I even have dinner. I feel like such a pig because I bought this thick sliced bacon yesterday and had two bacon and tomato sandwiches. They were so good, and the tomatos were awesome, I am really into fresh produce of any kind when I am here. I wonder if that means I will be gorging on it, when I'm down South. Possibly. Just big bites of juicy dark pink watermelon flesh. Just before bed, it's the best snack.

Anyway, got distracted by food again. Gotta go.

Labels: food, music, Ryan Adams

my feet don't touch the ground when you come around...
I'm exhausted. This week has been pretty brutal with travel and training. We're working right through the weekend which means no time off until next Saturday. I shouldn't whine, but I like to sleep in (if I can) so after awhile, it all catches up with me and sends me over the little deep end.

I wanted to post this. I posted it when I first got the tattoo years ago but I just wanted everyone to see it...again. Like it was the first time.


I've been spending a lot of time with the local social workers which is kind of fun. Every day, the covering social worker cooks dinner and we sit around and gab until I see how late it's getting and rush back to the hotel. I use the term 'hotel' loosely and will post photos at some point. They book the rooms by the bed, so if anyone else checks in, I'll have to share a room. That's when I'll be begging for the couch at the social worker's house. Oh yeth.

I bought two perfect red pears. I set them on the dresser so they can ripen a bit more. They look delectable from where I am sitting, typing this out for you, and I want to taste one but it will be too hard against my teeth and unready to eat. Unready. I like to make up words, sometimes.

I'm getting excited about my trip to London in June. The shopping. The fact that I will be renting a car and will feel the warm June night air on my skin. I'll take nostalgic trips to Port Stanley and sit in the sand as the water waves over itself. I'm looking forward to it. I like the Arctic but I still have fond memories of other places.

The Devil's in the Details - Matthew Good.'

Labels: Apostle, Arctic Circle, girls, Gish, holidays, job, Matthew Good, music, travelling

I got up this morning and ate the hamburger I was supposed to eat for dinner last night. I vaguely remember the taste, but more importantly, I was blinded by the sun reflecting off the snow, the light coming in through the windows. I may need to resort to wearing sunglasses in the house. Weird.

Two entries in as many days. If the internet holds, that is. It just went out a minute ago, and I may be reduced to saving this to post later. I hate that. Because my words are always different when I re-read things a second time.

The view as we were descending into Hall Beach.

I need a phone call...
Words from home are not encouraging or heartwarming. Seems things have taken a turn for the worse for a number of people. This frightens me as it felt as though my foundation is back in Ontario, and with a shaky foundation, things here in the Arctic feel even more unstable than usual. I guess we just have to see how it shakes out when things are settled down.

This song. Things are one way in a certain place, and different in another. I suppose that's normal, and just the way it is. But I think sometimes, a continuum would be nice...


It's Raining in Baltimore - The Counting Crows

Labels: Arctic Circle, music, Nunavut, we all lose in the end

The lights don’t go out until about 10 at night. I’ve been intending to write a real entry for about a week, but I figured that since I wasn’t around a reliable internet connection that I would wait until then to post.

But things have been running through my mind and I just feel like putting it down somewhere, no matter whether or not anyone else would ever read it. I figured I could be a private minded female version of Hemmingway, or Thoreau.

I’m in Hall Beach, Nunavut now. I’ve settled (mostly) into my new home and I seem to spend a lot of time looking out the windows at the other houses, the people walking by, the way the light hits the snow makes a white line of the horizon.

The one constant thing I’ve seem to cling to is the music I’ve been carrying with me. Pete Yorn in my ears, Matt Good, a song called Apple Orchard by a band called Beach. The music makes me a little home sick but at the same time, it’s comforting. It’s like hearing everything for the first time. Again. And again.

The weather is like a warm December. Light snow, a sun that seems to feel like it belongs on a Hawaiian beach then above the Arctic circle. It really is incredible to see and feel.

On my way to work, I listen to Safe and Sound by Hawksley Workman. I can picture the trees, the colour of the leaves, the way the sleepy towns look when you drive through...his music is so visual to me.

My plane rides were annoying (stewardess craziness) and I was travel-weary when I finally arrived in Hall Beach (I had spent a week in another community in Nunavut prior to getting here) and was tired of packing and unpacking. Unpacking my blankets for the last time (hopefully for awhile) is a very nice feeling.

One area of interest is the DEW line up here. Just google it and see what you come up with. I am now, your first line of defense...*grin*

Labels: Arctic Circle, cold, hawksley workman, music, Nunavut, Pete Yorn, snow

When I've got something new to listen to, I dance around and feel happy. It's almost a high. I picked up Hawksley Workman's new album Between the Beautifuls today and even though I've only heard a couple of songs (car has no cd player, just a thing for my iPod...I KNEW cds were better!) I'm convinced it's going to be a good record. I've also been listening to James Blunt a lot, lately. Which is a bit odd for me, I thought. But a couple of non-single songs caught my attention and proved to be a pleasant surprise.

The weather around here is odd. During the day we get a little melt, the rocks on the sides of the highway glisten with barely melted water. The snow frozen to a crispy crust that makes me think of dangerous walks through the woods with no socks or shoes on. Or a deer's legs lifting up and putting down, very gently.

Now I'm home, CSI on in the background, A cold can of Fanta Red Tangerine beside me and some mushroom pizza. It was that or a hamburger which I figured would take too long to cook. I only ever wanted to sit down and watch some t.v. Too impatient to wait for thick red meat to cook.

Somethings will never change...

Labels: hawksley workman, music, music opinion

I knew he was planning a few shows, but it looks like this tour will be as extensive as the Canadian version. Which makes all Matt Good fans very happy south of the border.

For a full list of shows in order to find one near you..
http://www.matthewgood.org/shows/

ooh la la, almost makes me wish I was American.

Labels: Matthew Good, music, song

Truth be told, I'm so sick of whining about being sick or sad, or 'not feeling so hot', that I could die. It's not as though those are the only parts of my life. Maybe in the moment, they certainly feel that way. I should update this blog somewhere other than bed, really.

This weekend, I guess I'll be the 'sad girl on the ferry' when I go home for Thanksgiving. You know what I mean; you notice a lone figure standing on the deck of the ferry, smoking cigarettes. She has windswept hair and sad eyes. Maybe her little dog is pulling on his leash to go elsewhere....but that's where she stands, looking out onto the painfully blue water. Maybe she's in deep thought about her lost love, or the fact she can't cook. Or perhaps, she is mourning the fact she never bought those trendy Gucci sunglasses at the Half-off store and now has to face the others on the boat with bare eyes. And you know just by her luggage that she must feel somewhat cosmopolitan for appearing at her family home in time for the holidays. Able and eager to leave after dinner. Slick sunglasses or not.

Yep. I'll play that part in public just because maybe I have nothing else to do. The only thing that sucks about it is they do not allow smoking on deck anymore. Must be all the cigarette butts that are floating in Lake Huron. Or maybe the seagulls finally got together and made a stink about the tainted air they have to deal with as they fly in tandem with the boat as it crosses from Tobermory to Manitoulin Island.

We call it a boat, not a ferry. Unsophisticated. But I don't think the locals care. Or the tourists, for that matter.

Nuts man, we're all just nuts. Excuse me, I must go and listen to Bruce Springsteen now.

Labels: acting, Bruce Springsteen, family, Ferry, Gish, holidays, music, New York, smoking