Ok. Sometimes, I pretend I'm singing when music is playing in my office. I do this partly because I'm bored out of my skull right now, and also because the music is pretty damn good. Right now it happens to be Bridge Over Troubled Waters by Simon and Garfunkel. I mean..how could you not pretend to be on a stage, in a spotlight, singing? Well, in my case lip-syncing.

A week from now I am to start a two week vacation. This seems like such a short time for me, at my old job I am used to having a month off at a time, but only because I scheduled it like that. I'm sure I could have a month now, but I guess I never really thought about taking a whole month so soon after starting. I know, I know..inane details that no one really needs to know.

well here's some more.
I was craving fruit juice this afternoon. So, I went to our little store and bought two bottles of juice, then a bottle of flavoured milk..I have no idea why other than the bananas looked appealing on the front of the bottle. I don't even like milk. I only have milk when I'm eating Lucky Charms. Weird. Anyhow, I came back and downed the two bottles of orange juice and craving is satisfied.

Nice that I can still do some things around here, even though I am starting to think Whoppers from Burger King are sounding really good about now.

I stayed up really late last night, downloading music like a fiend. I've been meaning (for like, two years) to get some of the songs from the Six Feet Under soundtrack, but never got around to it. Luckily, the songs are listed with each scene they were played on, at the website. Very handy.
Then I got distracted by old Joni Mitchell songs, so I grabbed a few of those. Then more Bob Dylan. Then I discovered a whole untapped resource of Ryans Adams stuff when he was with Whiskeytown, so of course...got some of those as well. There's so much great music out there that it's almost overwhelming.

I'm just going to go straight to bed after dinner tonight. If I even have dinner. I feel like such a pig because I bought this thick sliced bacon yesterday and had two bacon and tomato sandwiches. They were so good, and the tomatos were awesome, I am really into fresh produce of any kind when I am here. I wonder if that means I will be gorging on it, when I'm down South. Possibly. Just big bites of juicy dark pink watermelon flesh. Just before bed, it's the best snack.

Anyway, got distracted by food again. Gotta go.

Labels: food, music, Ryan Adams

I sat down at this little fake rosewood desk and started to type the entry for the day. I'm in a rather classy hotel in Aqaluit, that actually offers highspeed internet and doesn't really seem to be kidding about the 'highspeed' part. A glass of ice cold water at my left hand, my toes toasty in super workman style socks and I'm trying to decide on whether or not to post a photo. Ryan Adams and Hawksley on the stereo. Sweet voices. I always fall for the voices.

Today was really warm when I got off the plane in Aqaluit. I jumped into a taxi (now that I'm a seasoned northern traveller) and went straight to the hotel where I unloaded luggage and went straight back for another taxi whereupon I directed him to take me 'to the shopping'. I bought silly things for my house like tealights and incense, a candle holder. Stuff I could have picked up on my way back but that for whatever reason just decided to get now.

Here is a photo of Jackie's birthday celebrations last Friday:


I really liked the light of the photo. Even though my intention was to travel light, I ended up bringing my camera. I would love to get more shots of the mountains in Pangnirtung and whatever else takes my fancy. Like more hotel rooms. Trust me, the next one is going to be a gem.

But I should go to bed. I have an exhausting 2 weeks ahead of me, with this mandatory training to complete. We will even continue through the weekends, so I won't have a day off until possibly next Saturday. So, now I'm going to jump into the hotel bed and cuddle up, fall asleep to some familiar music, a tea light and a a soft blue ride. It swells like the ocean in front of me, that deep, dark blue that you can't believe is natural light against water until you run your hand through it. Or take a dive.

I'm going to take a dive.


The Rescue Blues - Ryan Adams

Labels: hotel, Ryan Adams, travelling

I’m a single, 31 year old woman. I like it that way, it keeps things simple. However, one of the things I dislike about being single is when people think you need to be with someone. Anyone. Anyone will apparently do, so long as I am not single anymore. This constant ‘fixing up’ is exhausting and it’s just plain embarrassing. I didn’t understand the need to pair up in my 20’s, and in my 30’s I still don’t get it.

Of course, this all sounds fine and good while I’m in my pyjamas, in the middle of the night, listening to Ryan Adams songs with my headphones on and a can of Pepsi beside me. Alone in bed. There are worse things.

In spite of all my good intentions, I put off a few job applications and writing assignments. I meant to have my admissions essay completed by this time, but it’s not even started. Nor are the ideas that have been whirling around in my head for the past 6 months. Not that easy when it comes right down to it.

Don’t those fixer upper people know that I’m a special breed? If I were to pair up, it would be with an ordinary guy, like….

Originally uploaded by Abstract Magdalene.

Just some guy who knows how to handle me better than I do. Some guy in a bad shirt and a worse haircut. He would be made up of ordinary people.

I thought things got easier with age, but there just seems to be more questions, more mystery behind the meaning of life. But I shouldn't get too serious, I haven't had nearly enough red wine to contemplate those things, and it's still only 11:30 in the evening.

awareness is a terrible thing. What I would not give to be simple-minded in every respect.

Labels: relationships, Ryan Adams, single, singledom

The flashlight is missing in action. I think it's on tour, slowly going across the nation like a beacon. No, I think 'beacon' is the wrong word, because I gain no comfort from who has it. People need to take care of themselves, is how I put it. It's so true. I never want to be a Gish that broke the camel's back again. It's the worst kind of guilt. Ahhh, the things that live in my head.

Anyway, I had to say that because it was in my head. Playing around with my nephew today in the backyard, he's attached at the hip with my mother whom he calls Nokomi (grandmother in Ojibwe) and we were laughing at his attempts at speech.

At the title 'suggests', I am sad that I wasn't able to go see Ryan Adams in Toronto tonight. He's playing at Massey Hall (amazing venue) and well, there is no one I would rather see at the moment. Hear those words, that music with my own ears. His mouth to my ears. magic, maybe.

Meanwhile, I'm ready to cut my hair and wear a rebel beret, not really sure what the cause is yet. Maybe I could practice being a seed activist. I would have to move: London is very conservative. However, that won't stop me from voting for the Green Party.

Yeah, yeah....I know.
Nightie.

Nobody Girl - Ryan Adams

Labels: Gish, nephews, Ryan Adams, song

I might be in love
Originally uploaded by Abstract Magdalene.

Seriously. I am temporarily in love with Ryan Adams. Don't worry, much like my passion for banana cream pudding and iced coffees...this too shall pass.

I hope. No disrespect to Mr. Adams.

Labels: Ryan Adams

pretty when you're blue
Originally uploaded by Abstract Magdalene.

Ok, if this entry doesn't turn out then it's Blogger's fault. I've tried to change the font size and all that, but if you can't read me, then.....dumb blogger. *grin*

I've decided I'm going to New York in May to see Ryan Adams. I was hoping for a run down bar kind of place but it's in a performing arts centre. I don't know how I'll be able to hide my camera. This is one of those times I wish I had a little palm sized one to pocket when security goes by. So, no listening to lovely music through a haze of cigarette smoke, and a thin layer of gin and tonic. Just sitting in a velvet chair, and listening whilst cupping my chin in my hand and smiling dreamily. Mmmm

I grabbed a bunch of photographs from the internet because I was curious to see what this songbird looks like. I love this photo, mostly because of the record player and the head phones. I wish I had a record player. *sigh* For those of you interested, Ryan Adams and the Cardinals will be on The Henry Rollins show on IFC on April 20th. That should be good.

Anyway, I credited the photo at Flickr. Also, I've misplaced the Usb cable to transfer any photos I've taken recently. I don't know where it is. I've looked everywhere and now I am considering buying a new cable, which is stupid since the original cable HAS to be kicking around the apartment somewhere and if I cleaned up like a normal person, it would turn up. I am almost sure that it would turn up the minute I come through the door with a new cable. Why is this such a big deal? I don't know. But it is the most exciting thing that has happened to me lately. That and I'm getting TONS of sleep.

Thank you, new blanket and bed sheets.

It's Easter weekend this weekend. I used to look forward to it and run home to Ottawa. Years ago. but now, I'll be watching Nickolaki in his first Easter Egg hunt and I'll take photographs. Maybe Buckley will come, too.

What are you up to, beauties.

Labels: Easter, music, New York, Ryan Adams

OK first things first: Has anyone other than myself, heard Willie Nelson's version of Leonard Cohen's SMASH hit Hallelujah? Raise your hands, if you have heard this cover. Don't worry, no on can see, just raise your hand for a final count.

There are so many versions out there ought to be a cut off point somewhere along the line.

So, I officially here and now, declare the cut off point. No more covers of this song that is called Hallelujah by Leanord Cohen. The man has enough money at this point in his life, and even if you think it's the crowning glory on your newest record, he probably doesn't really care. The time to stop is now.

Don't get me wrong. I dig Nelson's (we're on a last name basis now) cover of the song. In fact, I would put it as my second favourite cover of this particular song, given there are about six different versions to be found ranging from Johnny Cash to Rufus Wainright. And those are only the versions that I personally know about.

Enough already.

Because in the grander scheme of things, hands down, the best version of this song is by Jeff Buckley and that is all there is to it. The end. But not really. There have been a lot of changes taking place in the industry they call 'music', when it encompasses so much more than that, these days.

For instance, a lot of the musicians and songwriters are taking power back by spending as much time in the sound booth to ensure what they hear in their heads, is what comes across when you purchase and listen to their art. In this particular cover tune, we have Ryan Adams to thank for the help Nelson recieved in the production of his new record, Song Bird .

I know you think you know what music is. But I have this theory about it. I think of music as an art form, inasmuch as painting, poetry, writing, or sculpting something with your bare hands. And although emulating someone else's sound could be the highest form of flattery.

Sometimes, it's just time to say ok, enough.
So...enough.

Love,
Ms. G

Labels: cover songs, how not to be an idiot, insomnia, Jeff Buckley, late night, music, music opinion, opinions, Ryan Adams, song

Buckley and Gish
Originally uploaded by Abstract Magdalene.

Dear lover,
It's snowing where I am. Not that fluffy romantic kind, but the kind that gathers in thin, mean layers on the ground. Crystal onion layers. The wind is harsh, too. When I walked into the store this evening, I had to bend my body against the force of it, and curled my hands around my collar, as if I were a person in a movie.

I am stuck listening to Ryan Adams. I told Craig to tell his bass player friend to tell Ryan that I want to marry him. Sounds complicated, but it's not. How can one not want to marry a man who writes songs like Please Do Not Let Me Go ? I mean, really. 43 seconds from the end of the song, is my favourite part. You'd know that, though, being my lover. You'd know that I love harsh weather even when I complain about it, because it's what reminds me of the comforts of home. And you.

I know it's been awhile since I've seen you last. The days in between are many. The sound of your voice is a balm on what ails me. I pretend I don't miss you, or need you, or want you...but in the end, it feels like the sum of all I am. Terrible, to let emotion rule the daily being of a person, yes? Can you read/hear what I'm saying?

What keeps you, I know I can't get past it. Passed. I just have to let the days slide by, and have faith that I'll see you again. Soon. Sooner than I had thought, but not soon enough to stop my missing of you.

Please don't go skating in Central park without me. Don't check into the Chelsea hotel without my half of our signature. When I get my shit together, I'll come. The last train before the end, the sleeper cars are all full, I couldn't get a spot. I'd say meet me at the station but I'm not sure when I'll arrive.

Just send me a Valentine in your heart, miss my face even when you have no idea. Our time will be here soon enough.
Love,
Gish.

Labels: Craig, Craig Bancroff, drama, how not to be an idiot, inspiration, love, music, neurotic, relationships, Ryan Adams

my picture of my photograph
Originally uploaded by Abstract Magdalene.
I'm all alone now, I can do as I please.....I don't feel like doing much of anything...
Spent time with some of the kids in my program. They were making hand drums. I don't feel much for editing or sorting through photos or else I'd post one of the kids with the slippery hide and tendons stretching to make taut surfaces of the drums. Time through our fingers, unnoticed.

I think of the new sheets and I just want to curl up in them, but it's still too early for bed. Grocery shopping with my older sister tomorrow. It gives us a chance to catch up, and she gets to pick what I eat (sometimes). I know I'm supposed to be thinking about some arty photography for the theme at The Cooperation, but the ideas I thought I had don't seem very good. And my 'get up and go'...kinda got up an left.

And I'm hooked on this song. My favourite part is 43 seconds before the end of it. This book I'm reading is not doing much for my sense of mankind. It's called The Demon Lover by Robin Morgan. Discussing the roots of terrorism. I don't know if it's something I can fully subscribe to. Because after all, we're looking for solutions, and one of the parts of that is to lay blame with someone or something. This book lays the blame on men. Man, in general. I'll either be a man-hating, frothing at the mouth kind of feminist by the end of the book, or someone who has just read a bad book.

I dreamnt about money last night. Lots of it. I suppose it's because I am constantly worried about not having any or enough. And when sad songs come on the radio, my thoughts drift towards the Apostle. I wonder what he's doing now, what he's thinking. If he misses me. Then I have to look in another direction or I'll get lost in that train of thought.

My face is just a disguise. Another layer to me that no one has really figured out. How many layers are there...? Not sure. Even I don't have all the answers to myself, I can hardly expect someone else to. Silly.

Maybe I'll rent Purple Rain tonight. Such a nostalgic movie, not to mention that Prince is 5'5 feet of pure sex. MMmmmm.

Please Do Not Let Me Go - Ryan Adams

Labels: Apostle, drama, inspiration, layers, music, neurotic, pearls, photographs, relationships, Ryan Adams, song