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This is what it could look like when one completely deconstructs a life as one knows it, and how to build from the ground up. Alternatively, this is a fresh look at an old story. The fine art of falling apart.

they are all going to laugh at you

It seems surprising to me how real those little men in white coats can be. I mean, I haven't been around any of them, but the possibility that they truly exist....surprises me. Same thing with hospital pj's and bland food.

My laptop is slowly dying. Everytime it is booted up, it tells me that there is a fatal error and a hard disk failure is imminent. I've tried to back some things up like photographs, and art, and attempted with the music as well...but there is just so much crap I've accumulated in the past year that I don't even know where to start. Music folder, obviously...but being so large, it kinda scares me.

Doesn't take much to rattle me, lately. Like hour long phone calls with rock stars, which I am almost certain I imagined. The real world and the one I dream about when I fall into a fitfull sleep are very similar. Which is a real rip off, as far as I'm concerned....dreams are supposed to be wishes, not like real life, dammit.

I can't face the morning newspapers right now. I ignore the television and reread novels that I've had in my possession for over 10 years. I put my stack of Calvin n' Hobbes books on the end table so I can see them, which in turn reminds me that I need to reread them, as well.

Sleeping long hours on 1000 thread count cotton sheets with a fan pointed in my direction. Buckley barking at the fireworks people insist on setting off (Do they even know what they are celebrating??? No, of course not).

Trying to, as advised, relax and take things one hour at a time.

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