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This is what it could look like when one completely deconstructs a life as one knows it, and how to build from the ground up. Alternatively, this is a fresh look at an old story. The fine art of falling apart.

gonna play my favourite song...

Came home a little while ago, stomping through the blowy snow to get to my door. I actually have two doors. One is a apparently a polar bear door which opens into a little porch, then another door that opens into the house. My room mate tells me it's a polar bear door, and I wasn't inclined to believe her but I think I've read that somewhere before. A door to give you a fighting chance in the event there's a gigantic white bear chasing you.

I'm drinking Orange Crush and thinking about the next episode of 6 Feet Under and wondering when I'll be disturbed to let someone in my bedroom to splice a cable wire. I'm at the end of my day and I just want to relax, read a book with a dvd on in the background. It's all I want. But the cable guy. Oh the cable guy must splice.

A cup of my morning coffee, and a small list of what I consider groceries.morning coffee

Maybe I'm settling in now, and still missing everyone even the ones I don't normally see on a day to day basis. I looked at real estate the other day on the internet and tried to picture myself owning again. Maybe planting something in a tiny front yard, and having disasterous barbeques in the backyard. Drinks with friends over movies. Wine and the ever present cigarettes. Music, of course.does that look like a house I'd listen to Matt Good in?

Silly thoughts like that. One thing about this place is the lack of colour. It bothered me when I got here, but it's really starting to run rough on my edges now. All the walls in my house are white, everything is so stark. I will either paint something to hang up, or start stapling t-shirts to the wall. Orange, blue, red, green.

But I know I'll be putting up an art project this weekend in the living room. Polaroids...everywhere. It'll be just delicious.

Feeling of Gaze - The Twilight Singers

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