show love with no remorse...
It amazes me sometimes what comes to mind. I read another's blog and think YEAH! Then I get a little carried away and research the info that inspired me and get lost in a notion. So easy to get lost. So hard to get found. Hence, the title of today's entry.

I climbed out of my house today to meet my older sister at a convenience store for provisions. I have no shovel. I'm a loser, therefore I have no shovel. Ha. We got something like 50 centimetres the other day and it has covered everything as well as completely blocked me into my driveway, which sucks because...well, I have no shovel. That will be remedied at some point.

Then I get to shovel. Alright.

Do you remember those entries where I used to post photos all the time? This is one of those entries. In an effort to make complete and total use of my new(er) camera, the Sony Alpha, I spent part of the day in bed reading the manual like a convert. Pretty riveting stuff, but I managed to get to the middle of the book. And learned a couple of new things I didn't know before.
Like how good my nightstand looks with a glass of Dr.Pepper on it. And the light. Oh, the light. I could write novels about light. But they may bore my readers to tears.

Or the view from my bed, as I'm fiddling with the various controls. I always wanted a chocolate coloured room, and by pure luck, I happened to move into a place that had one.

My sister tells me there is a little christmas party at her place on Sunday. I say, oh, fun, do you want me to come? She says yes, please. Then hesitates. Then tells that I must be nice to So and So. I blink, quiet for a second, then say...what?!?

Now, I don't really know this So and So, and I'm pretty shy around people I don't really know. Also, not a lot of people get my sense of humour. While I may be shooting out lines from Evil Dead II, the other person is generally looking at me like a newly discovered freak show. That's ok, I can handle that only I can handle me in social settings. Having said all that, I don't ever really recall being unpleasant or blatantly cranky with So and So. So...what's the problem?

Apparently, I'm just not nice to him. I think, great. I have to be nice to someone I don't know. And I know what will happen. I'll attempt to make 'nice' conversation and before you know he'll think I'm trying to hit on him. For some reason, there seems to be no middle ground when it comes to me. I don't really know why. Genes, perhaps. Or maybe...I'm just fucked up. Given the events of the past few months, I can live with that. It's only life, after all.

Anyhow, It's 2:30 in the morning. I can't sleep. I've been watching the Documentary channel all night, and have ideas about going to Africa or Afghanistan to lend a hand in clean up in some kind of weird Social Worky kind of way. Crazy thoughts, I tell you. I barely get to one place before I'm thinking of leaving again. It's just me. I am always looking for the next rock.
nuts.

Dosed - Red Hot Chili Peppers