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This is what it could look like when one completely deconstructs a life as one knows it, and how to build from the ground up. Alternatively, this is a fresh look at an old story. The fine art of falling apart.

it's not ok to be my disappointment

headphones and legs
Originally uploaded by
Abstract Magdalene.

Jeff Buckley waking me up. He did a poor job (not his fault) and I slept through two of my alarms. And now the car won't start. It's just bad heaping on more bad. Now I bet the rest of the day will be less than stellar since I had a bad night.

I reached out to someone and was ignored. I'm told by others this is common enough. That he's selfish, etc. But I didn't care about any of that, my feelings were hurt and for the first time he's completely disappointed me. Despite that, I will never be one of those naysayers who won't support him and the difficulties he's going through. I won't be one of the ones that turns away because of this.

But fuck, it totally hurt my feelings. And it made me cry. Ugh, I hate saying that.
You'd think at my age, I'd get used to a squished ego or bruised heart by now, huh?
I guess not.

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