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About

This is what it could look like when one completely deconstructs a life as one knows it, and how to build from the ground up. Alternatively, this is a fresh look at an old story. The fine art of falling apart.

false hope


false hope
Originally uploaded by
Abstract Magdalene.


It's not so bad, this underwater business. I came up for air today to meet up with a couple of friends, then slipped quietly back into that black, black lake when it was time to go home. My camera has been at my sister's for the entire week, having only gotten it back today, I take photos of what used to be my miracle pills. The ones that put me to sleep, tucked me in, and just let me sleep. My little blue pills. Now they're just like my Fool's gold. Or in the world of doctors and pharmacists: Zopiclone.

The insomnia is getting worse with age, but I kind of expected that. Like skin, hair, teeth, things degrade as time slips by. That's ok. Although, for some reason it reminds me of this book I once read . Maybe I'll lose my last bit of string, after awhile.
I'm not the only one on this planet that can't sleep. I expect the problem to remedy itself sooner or later, regardless of what I actually do or don't do.

Listening to Simon and Garfunkel a lot lately, or Pete Yorn when I'm in bed, pretending to sleep. In a Zen-like madness I completely changed the bedroom around so that as soon as you walk in, you can fall into bed. I like that idea. Of falling into bed.

Took some frosty photos tonight, as Buckley ate snow in the front yard. I can't decide which movie to watch, so I'll probably end up reading instead. But then...

no one knows

right?

In an effort to stop consuming so much sugar, I picked up some of that new Pepsi, jazz sensations something or other. It is supposed to be black cherry vanilla flavoured pepsi. So far, it just tastes like diet crap. I'm disappointed. Although, if I keep drinking it...eventually it will win me over. It's amazing what one can acclimate to if given the opportunity.

I'm excited, because it's Monday tomorrow. I will clean the bathroom and the nooks and crannies of my orange kitchen with one eye on the phone. I'll will the job offers to come in. Or whatever.

You know, I blew a fuse the other night. I was rewiring an old lamp into a hanging lamp (not such a good idea with limited training, let me tell you) and when the moment of truth came (meaning, I plugged it in) there was a bright spark and then nothing. I was confused. I had followed the directions for the other lamp (swag lamp kit) and figured a lamp is a lamp is a lamp, no matter what. Right? Right. Turns out I forget to tie a knot in the wire.

Curses! Foiled again! Just kidding. I already got the lecture from two sisters, who also took the opportunity to laugh at the crooked bookshelf I built. Seriously, it's still standing, and doing what it was made for...how bad can it be???

ok, that's it. I think this is long enough for an entry.

Good night, thanks for dropping by.

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