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This is what it could look like when one completely deconstructs a life as one knows it, and how to build from the ground up. Alternatively, this is a fresh look at an old story. The fine art of falling apart.

I need to know that's possible

I smoke cigarettes by my new perch at the window. I installed a sliding screen in order to let in some fresh air. I also read from the weather report that it was supposed to rain last night, and I wanted to be sleeping next to that sound of water hitting the ground.

Now, of course, Buckley and Beebs hang out on the window sill as much as possible thus I have to often jockey amongst them in order to have a place to smoke. I can lay on the pillows and feel the breeze from outside on my face. This makes the mood shift a little. Then the other things fighting for attention in my brain crowd out the nice stuff and I'm back to trying to figure out my life.

I'm convinced that the doctor's (save for my family doctor) here in town are out to lunch. No one is listening to me. The only people that are listening is some guy in Vancouver (you know who you are), my friend Rose and my doctor. But all of them are limited in what they can do.

I guess that is what it comes down to in the end. Our own limitations.

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