If photos were feelings, this is how I feel. This photo is from a couple of years ago. My slightly distracted/disinterested look while I suck back hot coffee.


london
Originally uploaded by Abstract Magdalene.

It's only 10 p.m. and I am going to bed. I haven't been sleeping for about 2 weeks, and have instead been in a state of 'high as a kite', drunk off my ass, or cranky beyond belief.

Thinking it was a good idea, I tell a 'friend' he can come over and hang around the apartment. Now, I just want him out of my face, off my couch, out of the fucking house because the very pitch of his voice is driving me nuts. I'm nuts already, but I mean fingernails on a black board kind of way.

And it's hot. So hot that I just want to sleep in my underwear and not have to worry about how sexy or inviting I look, even though I feel the exact opposite. I have a bunch of movies I will put on before I fall asleep, ones I haven't watched in awhile. Based on Mattie's recommendation, I was trying to find Deadwood on dvd but haven't been able to track down season 1 yet.

Oh and the Sopranos. I can't tell if that last episode was really deep and totally flew over my head, or if they are just setting up for a movie. Movies of series are all fine and good, but you don't end the series which a freaking anti-climatic episode such as the last one of the Sopranos.

Kind of makes me want to watch M*A*S*H again, but on tv not on dvd. God bless Nick Drake. If that seems random to you, then I guess you don't know what I mean. *sigh*

Anyway, I'd better go. I have spare baggage that I am kicking out of my apartment and an early doctor's appointment in the morning.

Arg. go home.

Labels: depression, Gish, how not to be an idiot, Matthew Good, men, sex