A lady bug has been marching back and forth across my laptop screen all morning. I think he might be dying now because he’s just crouched on the edge now, not moving at all. He looks the way I feel. No, not red with black dots. Immobile.

I had brought a cd in this morning when I came in to work, early of course. But one of the other workers put on the local radio station. I guess I was ok with it until Shania Twain started warbling away about some man and boots under her bed. That’s when my resolve cracked and I switched to my mixed cd in the hopes of regaining what life I had lost during those crucial moments.

It’s raining where I am today. Even when I am an hour away from where I am now, it’s raining. I drove in the morning mist with stair-rodding rain, listening to whatever happened to be in the cd player.

I leave every morning with my hair in a knot, and my keys dangling from my fingers. I’m usually distracted into wondering if I’ve left anything important behind. Then I forget that and get into my car and drive away. Today, I forgot a sweater. The rain sends a small chill in through my clothes and it feels like my feet have been cold since forever.

Now, the lady bug is perched on a yellow post-it note.
Since the show last week I’m thinking:
Love
Breath
Breathing under water
Sounds
Dark
Lights
Sweet