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This is what it could look like when one completely deconstructs a life as one knows it, and how to build from the ground up. Alternatively, this is a fresh look at an old story. The fine art of falling apart.

the lay of the land

I've been up since about 5 this morning. As mentioned, my insomnia is a killer both ways. I have a hard time falling asleep and often wake up after an hour or so and am unable to get back to sleep. Then there are the early mornings bullshit. It's seriously enough, all on it's own, to drive one crazy.

The draw back to all this awake time (and not in your best form, either) is no one else is awake. No friends to chat with, I can update the journal until I'm blue in the face and no one is awake to read them. So, I browse the internet, planning on what I need to get me through the next few days and pretend to shop. Right now, I'm looking for a memory card reader, which I will have to pick up at some point this week. My camera hasn't been picked up in months, literally months. I've been abandoned by the muse and no inspiration so I figured, who cares?

Then part of me decided to just try to force it. So I had to order a new battery charger and card reader (I lost mine in the move). Just waiting for those things and hopefully once they get here, I can find it in me to take some pictures again. I also ordered a new polaroid camera and have to pick up some film, that is part of a fledgling collage project that I hope to start soon.

I was in Sudbury again yesterday, helping Chunk get ready for her formal thing. She's in her first year of university (five weeks left) and it never ceases to amaze me how far she's come, and how grown up she has become. For awhile, it felt like she left me behind. But now I'm seeing it's a really great thing how she's coming into her own. Anyhow, I was determined to dress up my bed a bit at home, so I bought ridiculously priced pillows, then wanted to drive home right away to try them.

I gotta say, sometimes it's all in the pile of the pillow.

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