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This is what it could look like when one completely deconstructs a life as one knows it, and how to build from the ground up. Alternatively, this is a fresh look at an old story. The fine art of falling apart.

the evils of pop and money

I sorta lied when I said I was giving up pop. I meant I was giving it up until it became more reasonable for me to buy it. Or procur it.

So a case of 24 pretty, shiny cans came my way last week. At the bargain price of 30 dollars. I was so happy to have it. When I was putting it in the fridge, can by can, the whole case fell face down onto the floor. Pop was fizzing and spraying everywhere. I wasn't sad about the pop, I was more like: fuuuckkk...I just pissed away 30 bucks. Money. It always comes back to the money for me.

Anyway, it was only one can that was opened. The rest of them are deformed but totally still....good.

I've become one of the responsible. One of the ones that save their money rather than spend it. And I could spend. I used to be able to spend whatever I had, on whatever I wanted. But the past couple of years, I've been bitten by some other sort of bug and now have no interest in buying things. Not really. So, I opened an account while I was in London and made the first deposit when I got my last paycheque.

It doesn't sound like a big deal, I know. But I've been doing calculations in my head..ok, not really in my head, but I've been adding up what I could save during the time I am here. And if it all is as the calculator says, then I will come away from this experience with everything I need in order to live a full and happy life in Southern Wherever.

Southern Wherever. That's the other problem, but I'll deal with it when it comes time to move again (hopefully not for a couple of years).

In the quiet sanctuary in the back of my mind, I still wonder if a certain anyone will log on and read what I've been writing. I half-heartedly look for user names or comments but it never reveals itself. I think about that user name while helicopters thud in the sky over my head. Or he comes to mind when I hear planes taking off. Then I think of things like there are only shadows in my blue skies. Or dust that covers my windshield like a blanket.

Then I just push it away, and it's daylight again.

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