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This is what it could look like when one completely deconstructs a life as one knows it, and how to build from the ground up. Alternatively, this is a fresh look at an old story. The fine art of falling apart.

Everywhere I go, no one seems to know...

The sky turned the colour of glowing emeralds last night. It was late, past 11. I wandered around the house, listening to music, smoking cigarettes and trying to decide what I should pack for my trip home. I usually leave it to the last minute, and that's not something I mind, it's just the way I usually do things.

I have probably posted this photo before, but wanted to again. It feels like home, almost. Something so familiar, I will never forget the lines.
the hands

I feel like a total heel for leaving Bailey behind for a month while I go gallavanting around Ontario. He's become closer to me as time has gone by, and even though I am sitting in my office writing this out and he's at my friend's house less than half a 'block' away, I miss him. Really missed him last night as I closed the lights and went up to my bedroom. I am used to hearing the sounds of his following me on the stairs, and his nosing around on the bed until he's comfortable. I've gotten word from my friend that he's followed her into the shower, is eating constantly (very unlike him) and that sort of makes me feel as though he misses me too. Which makes me miss him more. I hope he doesn't get too attached to her. Even though I am obviously older, I would feel a tad betrayed. *grin*

So I will be home by Sunday. I have to have overnights in two cities, so even though I am leaving today, I won't arrive until early Sunday morning. Which I have accepted (even though I was crabby about having to stay overnight in Toronto). I guess now that I have lived so far away for awhile, it would be weird to leave and get there in the same day.

I don't have a lot of packing to do. I travel very light when leaving this place, and come back with more stuff. I'm taking a mostly empty suitcase, and a carry on that will hold my laptop, camera, etc. 2 changes of clothes, some toiletries and away I go. I'm happy to go, ok to stay, I suppose. I just wish I didn't have to go through the hassle of numerous airports to get where I'm going. That's the part I am really not looking forward to.

But here is a small list of things I am looking forward to:
- my dogs, Buckley and Marble. My cat, Beebs
- sushi
- take out food of any kind
- my mother's house, the warmth of it
- warmer weather
- not having to wear my gigantic parka for awhile
- shopping, new clothes, new cds, new movies, christmas presents
- DRIVING IN A CAR on paved roads
- coffee from a real coffee store
- my family
- seeing my brand new nephew, seeing my other nephews and spoiling them rotten
- gin and tonics (Taqueray, of course)
- get togethers with my friends
- long drives with music on the cd player
- grocery stores

I am sure there's more, just can't think of everything off the top of my head. I really can't wait to see my dogs and my cat. I do miss them terribly.

In any event, I have to get some work done at the office before heading home to finish packing. And I must check the weather to make sure my plane will arrive.


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