neither of you really help me to sleep anymore


had a few drinks with friends tonight. A board game and some laughs. Caleb has excellent aim, and hit me in the middle of the forehead with a game piece. Although, I forget the reason why, now. Typical. I must have made a bad joke.

Have a lot on my mind, the past few days. I want to say it's nothing a few days on my own won't fix, but I have the feeling that being left alone with my thoughts is a bad idea, because I can get so self indulgent. Typical of gemini's maybe. Definitely for me. But I can't help it. I've tried thinking of other things, and I guess I will just have to admit things to myself at some point. Just not now. Later. Always later. It's just going to blow up in my face, as usual. So I put it off.

But tonight, I have a few hours to myself, thinking of watching a movie, starting the John Irving book that I've been meaning to read for years, and just relax. Chips, maybe. Or cheezies. Water and cigarettes. A candle burning to my right on the nightstand, and little paper lantern lights lit above my vanity. Ryan Adams in the background when I go to sleep. yeah, sounds like the perfect night.

I was writing earlier, before anyone stopped by. But I had to stop because it was getting to close. I want to write about everything in my head, but when it comes out on the page, it just freaks me out a bit. *grin*

Hope everyone has a kickass saturday night. Oh, the photo above is Bailey and the John Irving book, Until I Find You. So appropriate.

La Cienega Just Smiled - Ryan Adams