I'm not afraid of a lot of things. Things that most people are afraid of, I figure I will weather through like everything else gone wrong in my life. For instance, I'm not afraid of moving to new towns where I know no one. I'm not afraid of heights, water, snakes or bugs. I'm not afraid of being alone, or dying alone. I'm not afraid of death or being left by a lover. Nor flying, or of medical doctors, new people or new experiences.

But I am afraid of the dentist. Horrible childhood experiences left me the gift of fear of the person who roots around in your mouth with sharp instruments and ear-cringing hand drills. I mean, it's bad. I have to take anti-anxiety medication before I go, and have the gas to make me compliant. Although, sedation is ideal.

I went to the dentist today. This is probably my 3rd visit since moving here about a month ago. The first two visits were just to scope out the dentist and get a consult. I haven't heard great things about this dentist but desperately needed work done before I could even think about going overseas in June. I pictured abscessed teeth and falling out teeth while on vacation, and I would have hated for that to happen. Especially when I am supposed to be like...enjoying myself in Ireland.

So, biting the bullet so to speak, I went in this morning prepared for a root canal. With the aid of Ativan (so fucking handy, that drug). Physically shaking in the dentist's chair, and ear phones clamped in my ears listening to soothing favourite music, I had the procedure done.

And this is what I looked like when I got home.



Like something from The Grudge. I have no makeup on, and haven't really brushed my hair. I basically got out of bed, brushed my teeth and got dressed then went to the dentist. But my smile! So crooked, more than usual. And that droopy lip!

It made me laugh (in part because it's funny, and also because I had survived the dentist visit in one piece, less one nerve), so I decided to post it here for your giggling pleasure.

Stare in my glassy eyes and at my crooked smile and tell me that it's all alright.
*grin*

Labels: dentist, numb, teeth