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This is what it could look like when one completely deconstructs a life as one knows it, and how to build from the ground up. Alternatively, this is a fresh look at an old story. The fine art of falling apart.

every name is my name

To come at last to be undone...
I can't sleep. It's not something that ever comes easily for me. I have to grab it with both hands and somehow convince it to stay like an errant lover. if you just stay for a little while, I promise I won't see anyone else. Please, baby.

I want to make it promises that I'll never keep. Maybe sleep is something that visits only the good, the healthy, the happy. Or the desperately sad, the ones that numb themselves with it. Nothing for the inbetweens, I guess. Instead, I get to twist around in my white cotton sheets, my head under the pillows, My hair these waves of dark brown weaving in and out of the covers. My skin, warm from the heated air under my blankets. The bed is a tricky place, sometimes.

I'm supposed to be up early tomorrow. Maybe I can't sleep because I know this. Must get up early. And no music is like soothing. Maybe I should fall asleep listening to the weather channel or the sound of the furnace grudgingly kick itself into life. More hot air.

I shovelled the driveway today. My car was completely covered in snow, like a newspaper box. Looking at snow (and I had this exact conversation today) makes me want to romanticise everything. The sweet way it lands on your eyelashes, on your skin. Last week, it snowed for 17 hours straight. We got 5 feet. I was snowed in for a number of days, only released this afternoon from my little icy castle. Maybe you know this already.

Christmas party at my sister's today. I chased my little nephew around (not allowed to post photos of his sweet face) and ate spinach and ricotta pizza from Angelo's. It used to be my favourite, in another life. Funny how one strives for some kind of normality without even really realising it. Must maintain equilibrium.

I would like for any readers that dig music, to go and look at my friend Craig's page. He's really good. Reminiscent of Dylan, a bit of Buckley in there and the sweetest voice that I've ever heard on telephone wire. Just click on the banner below and have a listen for yourself.

Craig Bancoff Music

Every Name is my Name - The Matthew Good Band


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