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This is what it could look like when one completely deconstructs a life as one knows it, and how to build from the ground up. Alternatively, this is a fresh look at an old story. The fine art of falling apart.

one frying pan each

I have one, now. I just made fake quesadillas for dinner. I burnt one, then wondered why it tasted a little bit funny. Sour cream, squeaky green onions, fresh ground pepper, and Terminator 3 (hoping for another Nick Stahl dream). I also picked up some other food things, too in my attempt to eat normal meals like an ordinary person. Don't ask me what I bought though, because I already forget. Probably nothing overly healthy, or requiring a lot of effort to prepare. No. Not me.

Tired. Slept through hours last night. Ate a snack but have forgotten the taste of cherry sours. Watched another documentary (addictive). Slept some more. Need darker window shades on the bedroom window. New cotton blanket that snaps satisfyingly when I make the bed. Like the cotton sheets do, out of the dryer.

Last night, I came home late and the Christmas lights were on. No more snow, but still felt a little like Christmas around here. The shovel I so very wanted last week, is sitting neglected in the front foyer. I wonder if it wonders if it will be needed or useful again. I wonder about inanimate objects all the time. Sighing cd payers and the sounds of doors shutting themselves with a small, satisfied click.

Dark blue fingernails today. I go through these stages of nail colouring, then the bottles will sit unused on a surface somewhere in my home. Pale blue, dark red, black. Personality in a jar? Maybe. Doesn't matter, it's too fun to ignore sometimes.

Despite sleeping right through 4 hours last night (which is an accomplishment), my eyes feel tired, muscles are stiff. Sore throat, and a bit of a runny nose. Instead of an arid apartment, I have a small cold building (hope it's small) and so I plan on being tender with myself for a few days. Babying oneself if terribly indulgent, but I like it, I suppose.

Supposed to be warm here all week. The snow has mostly melted in place, and I suspect it may be time for a walk in the park with Marble and Buckley tomorrow. If only I had had time today. In any event, this is where I leave you.
Miss you,

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