Oh my god, I hate the first day at new jobs! And oh my god, I said oh my god!!!

I feel like I've been walking around wearing a pink tutu with green tights or something. I feel like my hair is all wrong, I'm too fat, I'm too tall, I'm too me, to be here. I want to run home and hide under my new blue blanket and pretend that money is not necessary for life and I can live a perfectly happy, if secluded life of my own, underneath that blanket. I could take the occasional call from my mother, and I would call Craig all the time to hear what it looks like in his neck of the woods.

I could do that. Me and Buckley. Two peas in a pod.

I'm just being a baby. Here I am, with what I wanted, everything is falling into my lap and all is well, I should be happy. I know it's just a phase. After the first week, I will be fine. I just need to find my sea legs. Work legs.

Something like that.

It's funny, though. They all expected me, waiting with baited breath for me to arrive and it's such a triumph for them to get a new worker, I feel like I have been on a parade float all day, waving and shaking hands. I wonder if I will have the guts to ask for a raise. *grin* Just kidding.

Arg, and I forgot to take off the week old blue nail polish last night, it's flashing up at me while I type this. I've been up since 5:45, drinking coffee and slowly getting ready for work. I only changed my shirt three times. And the one I have on still doesn't feel right. But it's ok. It's ok.

I wish my new shoes would arrive. *sigh*

Labels: coffee, drama, how not to be an idiot, job, work, writing