Dear Chicago,
sleepful nights in a new place, my sheets are the same. A cracked lightbulb and cool evenings spent on the roof like 3rd Rock From The Sun. I feel like rainbow coloured paint inside my head when I'm trying to write, but the cigarette smoke tastes better than it ever has before.

Hewlitt Packard has my laptop hostage so I make sojourns to welcoming internet spots on my way to other more important places like the coffee store.

Listening to Matthew Good's new album is sharp like jagged edges but feels so good at the same time. In a none-hurting kind of way.

Go to go now.
Love,
Gish

Labels: bipolar, blue pills, coffee, cover songs, Daniel Johnston, Matthew Good, we all lose in the end, work, writing

Mother
Originally uploaded by Abstract Magdalene.
I took this photo a little while ago. The word 'mother' stood out to me. My mother is worried about me. I adore her, and it hurts me when she is worried. I'll talk about my mother in more detail at some point.

I've been listening to a lot of Matthew Good (for night time music) and Ani DiFranco (to get my Bitch on). Instead of cursing anything that has gone wrong the past month, I'm in the unique position (again) of concentrating on getting even, and looking at things to do that I would normally pass on.

The evil nasty down mood hasn't been around for a couple of days, I actually feel like my old self today. Yesterday was a little manic, I did some things pretty impulsive. I got two two new tattoos (small ones) for a very reasonable price at Addictive Tattoo here in London. I also bought some new skirts as the plan is to remain in skirts, tshirts and flipflops all summer. I also splurged on a manicure and pedicure (30 dollars) and some Starbucks coffee (which I normally don't bother with). I was a buying machine yesterday.

Today, I will see my two nephews, Riley and Danny for the first time in 2 years. I was able to work out an agreement with their father who used to be quite unapproachable (I think the court papers I prepared had something to do with it) and now, I and the rest of the family will have regular access to them. So, later on today I am sure my mood will change as I will have a lot of questions to answer.

The weather around here is on crack. 35 degrees one day, then 18 degrees the next. Consistency would be nice.

There are a few concerts I would like to attend this summer, but with having no job I doubt I will get out there. Buckley likes to eat watermelon, which I usually snack on before bed.

And thanks to Mattie, I have a thing for cheese now. Freshly grated Parmesan and asiago on top of any pizza I'm eating. I can only hope I do not move on to Tapas after this addiction, as I'm currently broke and can't afford such things *grin*

Anyway, my youngest nephew, Nicholaki is having a birthday party tomorrow, he turned 2 earlier this week. I got him a ball he can jump on. I better put a helmet on him, just in case.
Love, Gish

Labels: coffee, depression, family, Gish, habits, layers, Matthew Good, nephews, opinions, relationships, spending

Oh my god, I hate the first day at new jobs! And oh my god, I said oh my god!!!

I feel like I've been walking around wearing a pink tutu with green tights or something. I feel like my hair is all wrong, I'm too fat, I'm too tall, I'm too me, to be here. I want to run home and hide under my new blue blanket and pretend that money is not necessary for life and I can live a perfectly happy, if secluded life of my own, underneath that blanket. I could take the occasional call from my mother, and I would call Craig all the time to hear what it looks like in his neck of the woods.

I could do that. Me and Buckley. Two peas in a pod.

I'm just being a baby. Here I am, with what I wanted, everything is falling into my lap and all is well, I should be happy. I know it's just a phase. After the first week, I will be fine. I just need to find my sea legs. Work legs.

Something like that.

It's funny, though. They all expected me, waiting with baited breath for me to arrive and it's such a triumph for them to get a new worker, I feel like I have been on a parade float all day, waving and shaking hands. I wonder if I will have the guts to ask for a raise. *grin* Just kidding.

Arg, and I forgot to take off the week old blue nail polish last night, it's flashing up at me while I type this. I've been up since 5:45, drinking coffee and slowly getting ready for work. I only changed my shirt three times. And the one I have on still doesn't feel right. But it's ok. It's ok.

I wish my new shoes would arrive. *sigh*

Labels: coffee, drama, how not to be an idiot, job, work, writing

pretty bondage
Originally uploaded by Abstract Magdalene.

Hi there, cowboys, gunslingers and all that pass by this page. I'm drinking a cup of really strong instant coffee because it's the only way I can handle it, these days. I have zero appetite, and when I don't hear the french fries calling to me, something must be up. Must be just my messed up sleep *yawn* schedules and such. Blah, blah, and blah.

Oh, and I've been internet-less for the past couple of days. I posted the above photograph one night on Flickr, went to 'work' (sort of have a temp job) then came home to a chewed power supply courtesy of Buckley. Two days for one to ship to my address and I think I'm in business. But nope. Then the internet wasn't on. Today: two techs, three modems and about 4 phone calls and it looks like we're cooking with gas now. Mind you, that's what I thought about an hour ago, but then that brand new modem expired with little to no fanfare. At least give me something to report, like a small explosion or puff of smoke. Instead, I come across to the 'men in charge of Roger's Com' that I'm just the little lady who hears a funny sound under the hood of her car.

Yes. I've been there. And NO, I still don't need to replace that strut mount, ok? But that's an old story.

I had a funny exchange with Matthew at Flickr a few days ago. It had me laughing out loud and cursing because I had no light in the bathroom to do the photograph that I had asked him to do. Of which he declined. Good idea, though. At some point, I will elaborate.

Interviews lined up for next week. An Incubus backstage pass for possible debauchery and tequila-drinking with D. and the always attractive Brandon whats-his-name. Mostly, Im looking forward to getting together with D, and snapping some amazing photographs. I'm not really a fan, but it should be fun. Oddly enough, my older sister calls me up tonight to tell me Thornley is playing in town somewhere tonight. But since Sekou left the band, I haven't been following their progress. The guy was always so friendly. Mind you, if they decided to do Under the LightHouse...then I may be strong-armed into going. However, the chances of finding out that information in the next hour requires quite a bit of detective work, and I gotta say...I just don't feel up to it.

Ok, then. I guess that is enough of an update for today. I watched the Road to Git-mo Bay this morning at about 5 a.m. and have been mulling it over for the day, while I learned how to properly restrain out of control people without hurting them. Man, the stuff that goes through my head. I'm a social worker. Capital S, Capital W, dammit. I should be out there social working.

Enough. Great photo though, huh?

Labels: coffee, drama, habits, how not to be an idiot, Matthew Good, music, neurotic, pearls