ugh, I feel awful. (I know everyone wants to read this).

I haven't slept at all, and I feel so frustrated by the fact that I cannot simply close my eyes and drift off like the rest of the population. Instead, I'm awake and it's past 9 in the morning. There's nothing left to do except stay awake and go about the day. Maybe I'll drink root beer and watch television.

What I really want is a few hours of deep, dreamless sleep. The kind you awake rested and beautiful from. As if you've spent the last few days laying on a beach in Malibu (who really lives in Malibu, anyway?) reading cheap paperback novels and drinking ice cold water from a slippery bottle with tiny grains of sand on it.

Yeah.

Right.

What, exactly have I been doing all this time? Well, for starters I watched a few episodes of Six Feet Under, then decided to do a little internet research on how long it would take to become a licensed mortician (I prefer that word, so gloomy), turns out....it's about 2 years plus (way too long in my book). Then I left a John Cusack movie on loop whilst reading a really shitty paperback crime novel. And eating salt and vinegar flavoured potato chips. I also talked to the two dogs as if they were really listening and made periodic attempts to remove the cat from the top of the (heated) keyboard of the laptop.

I am a star, I know.